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recovering from a birth experience you didn't want

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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December 16th, 2009, 10:31 AM
rabbitranch's Avatar est. 2000
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: central FL
Posts: 13,912
What have you found helpful to combat all of those negative feelings about a birth experience that didn't go as you had planned? Did you find anyone you could talk to about it? Was your DH supportive or did he just not get it?

I have to say I am having some pretty low moments about having to have a c-section, and maybe even more about having the placental abruption. I just don't understand why my past 2 pregnancies have been plagued with these rare placental issues, after 2 perfectly normal pregnancies. I feel betrayed by my body. We sort of said we were done having kids but now it feels so final - it hurts so much to think another pregnancy would be dangerous to the baby. And ugh, these hormones aren't helping, and neither is feeling so helpless because of this stupid c-section. And I can't use my new Ergo yet, darnit

Now, on the other hand Hobie is just perfect in every way and I am so in love Here are a couple of pictures for you:

Thanks for letting me blubber.

Heidi, mama to 5 kiddos and an lost 11.25.13 at 11w5d
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December 16th, 2009, 12:33 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1
I haven't been there, so I'm sorry, I don't know. I just wanted to say Hobie is beautiful and I send my love!

Thank you Kiliki for my first beautiful Siggie!

mom of 2 angels and an earth baby
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December 16th, 2009, 01:50 PM
greeneyes's Avatar <-- Just do it.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: The Tar Heel State
Posts: 6,306
First of all, your son is absolutely gorgeous!

I used to post on this board when I was pregnant last year and I did end up having a natural childbirth, but I have a lot of hostile feelings about some of the things that happened during my labor and delivery. I don't know how to move past it because there are days when I still think about it and am upset and it's been 10 months now. But I do want you to know that what you are feeling is normal and I don't think you should try to force those feelings away. When I've expressed my feelings in the past, people will tell me, "Well, you got a healthy baby out of the deal so you should be happy about that," which I AM but it still doesn't negate the fact that I'm upset about what I didn't get - the birth of my choosing. Birth is an incredibly private, intimate moment between mom, baby, and partner and when things go bad, it feels like something was stolen from us, it can be painful.

I wish you all the best in your recovery and give your beautiful new man many snuggles.

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December 16th, 2009, 02:15 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 17,089
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awwww great pictures

hmmmm. i dunno. i had a c section, but i guess after my initial grieving i just accepted it. yes it upsets me and i do have a hard time reading birth stories about NCB, but for the most part i just tried to focus my energy on DD. I feel so blessed to have her that in the end, that is all that matters to me. i feel very very robbed by my birth experience, but it is what it is. i am a bit farther out from my birth than you, and time does help. the hormones for sure do not help at all!! I really thought i was going to die during the c section that i guess i am just happy to have lived thru it. It was by far the scariest thing I have ever gone thru. it was so unexpected (as was yours) and the last thing i expected after 1+ days laboring at the birth center was a c section.

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December 16th, 2009, 06:21 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,430
A couple things have been helping me...

Talking about it on here...

Crying about it.... honestly crying has been a HUGE release for me...

And trying to focus on have Noelle here and healthy...

DH just doesn't understand how I feel and its pointless to me to try and talk to him about it...

I have a strong mommy guilt about getting the epidural and having the meds go to my Noelle... I still can't get over it but have been healing slowly... If you need anything please PM me!!1 We can heal together!
*9 weeks * 4/11/13
*5 weeks * 6/22/13
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