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What do you friends/family think?

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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January 21st, 2010, 08:32 PM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 6,194
My mom has been pretty supportive. She has seen the difference in the way my midwife is handling my pregnancy and how positive this has gone in relation to my past two pregnancies (VERY stressful). I'll be the first person in my family to attempt a NCB... so everyone else thinks its weird, but they already kind of expect weird from me so they don't dwell on it. My friends and community are all really supportive. Some people will just ask a lot of questions... but since I started working professionally with birth, it seems that they aren't asking many questions that they didn't have already.
Previously known as ~~Que~~

Student Midwife, Doula, Placenta Specialist, and Lactation Counselor
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January 21st, 2010, 10:51 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Posts: 1,945
When I first told my SO, he was pretty convinced that I couldn't do it since his ex wanted to have one with his son and was unsuccessful. I think that he's trying to be supportive now that he knows that it's really important to me. My moms first reaction was "you're going to NEED an epidural", but after her saying that one too many times, I told her not to talk about it unless she had anything positive to say. She hasn't commented since. My bff has not said anything about it at all, so I guess she's supportive. On Christmas, somehow my family figured out my plans and they all thought I was crazy. I try not to tell anyone my plans anymore because I don't really want to know their opinions.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my siggy
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January 22nd, 2010, 07:09 AM
Gobaby1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: North Shore of Boston
Posts: 1,075
My family was super supportive since they had all done NCB too. They were pumped that I was the first "kid" of theirs to want NCB and breastfeed.

My friends for the most part called me crazy and told me to "take the drugs".

My boss, who is a MAN, told me not to be a hero and asked why I would want to do something like that in this day and age. His daughter took the drugs, therefore that is the best way.

Other friends who I don't see often were supportive and they all did NCB too. It was my day to day peps that thought I was crazy! But they all BF so that was a great support!

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January 24th, 2010, 11:50 AM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 8,765
The only person who seems to think its just horrible is MIL. Even though she had NCB's, so I don't know why.
This was my mom! I know for me and my sister (her first two children) my parents couldn't afford an epidural so she didn't have one for that reason. When she had my brother, I think they could have afforded the epidural but she chose not to. So I'm not really sure why she was so against me having one. She was also very pro-episiotomy, because she tore so badly with me but then had the epi's for my siblings and had a much easier recovery.

The rest of my family and friends were okay. If they thought I was out of my mind they were polite enough not to say so. lol.. I have one friend who has been convinced since high school that she wants elective c-sections, but she didn't give me any grief, either. Dh was totally supportive.

For next time, I'm seriously considering telling everyone my due date is a month later and giving a "date" for the RCS, so even if I go to 42 weeks and have a vbac I don't get any grief. I just have the feeling that I won't get a lot of support because of the, "once a c-section always a c-section"

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January 24th, 2010, 01:10 PM
bkro9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,460
Honestly I have barely told anyone. I've already heard the whole "oh you'll see how it REALLY is" and "are you crazy?" type of responses. IF and WHEN I succeed with the NCB I'll share and then they can suck it!

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January 25th, 2010, 08:22 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lame-o Illinois
Posts: 12,234
Everyone but my DH thinks I am completely ridiculous. So I don't bring it up.
Amelia: Wife to Ryan, Mama to Harleigh, with a boy on the way
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January 27th, 2010, 11:37 AM
Earthy.Mama's Avatar .*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 14,028
The usual. "You're crazy" "you're brave" "just be prepared things change" blah blah blah. Long story I ended up with an epi with Kailey (birth story around here somewhere - this isn't my first account on JM) because I got scared once we got to the hospital and I started closing my cervix.

When I told them we were homebirthing with Nola they didn't really say anything. My sister made some comments but I either flippantly answered them and then ignored or, or I just generally ignored her.

Next we'll do a freebirth, I live right across from the hospital. Or I'm looking into the only birthing center around here. Depends, not sure yet.

Co-Host July 2014 DDC

Last edited by Earthy.Mama; January 27th, 2010 at 11:39 AM.
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January 27th, 2010, 08:25 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
With my first, my parents were supportive, dh was supportive but it took a week to convince him...now he's an advocate lol. My cousins who were prego the same time as me were almost mad at me like I was "trying to be tougher than them" because they were both planning hospital epi births. I get the "don't be a hero" line a lot. Even from the nurse while I was in labor with #2. With #2, he was stillborn...so everyone...EVERYONE (including parents who were there and the nurses...they all kept encouraging me to get something) thought I was nutso for not getting pain meds as we knew he had died before I was induced. But honestly it was a beautiful, MEMORABLE birth because I wasn't drugged out. My body remembers what it felt like to birth him and that was a HUGE part of my healing process and I am SO proud of his birth story.

With this one nobody has asked yet. They just all think I'm crazy LOL
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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January 28th, 2010, 01:16 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,352
I think my mom is the only one who is truly 100% supportive of my decision. She had both me and my sister without pain meds, and she was given pitocin with me. She just assumes that is the way you have a baby- there's really no need for pain relief. DH is about 90% supportive now, so I count that as a victory. He's just worried about looking like an a hole to the nurses by not "letting" me have pain meds. My MIL had two c-sections so she doesn't really feel the need to comment on how I want to labor. It's nice having a MIL who doesn't meddle or give unsolicited advice! As for friends and my sister and SIL, they all think I'm crazy. My best friend just thinks I'm crazy for having kids period regardless of epi or not, but everyone else thinks it's silly to not take the drugs if they're offered.

Everyone's reactions don't really bother me. I've kinda done my own thing for a while and this is just one of those things.

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January 30th, 2010, 07:08 AM
~ Christine ~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 5,223
All our family was very supportive. I didn't really share it with a ton of other people. My BFF thought I was crazy at first, but she was still very supportive. Now, if I chose next time to do a birth center birth, I know my MIL would not be as supportive.

Forever missing our angel 8.31.07

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