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I meet with my doula this week,final meeting before the big day! Any advice?

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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August 23rd, 2010, 12:09 AM
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Ok so my doula is great and I'm confident that she'll do her best to help me get the birth that I want. She's into NCB but at the same time she won't push me for it and will still be there for me if I change my mind or if I have to have interventions or something. I trust her with my son as well if he needs to be taken out of the room. She also totally understands that I may not want her or anyone to hold him after so she won't be offended if I say no at first and she knows not to ask to hold him but wait for me to offer. She's aware of my history of panic attacks and childhood abuse and knows which words not to use with me to trigger bad memories. She knows how to explain my name situation to the nurses when I'm admitted and this will be written down for her as well if she forgets. She knows about my lack of family support and all about my FOB and is lack of interest for the last few months.

She's made a birth wish list for me,with my help of course and I'll take another look at it to be sure it matches with the birth plan that I'm making for myself to copy for the nurses and doctor.

I sent her a list of questions a little while ago along with some random things I wanted her to know and she said she'll answer the questions when we meet Wednesday.

She told me that we'll be talking about a c-section when we meet,just to go over the basics of what happens just in case. She knows I don't want one,but that I also want to know how it happens just in case. I think she'll also be teaching me about a bubble that I can surround myself with.

I think we'll be going over what will probably happen when start labor and what our plan/plans will be for that day and when I should call her and all that.

I'd like to tell her a few more things I've thought of as well like,that I may become annoyed with her during labor and it isn't personal it just happens with women during labor and how to deal with it if it does happen. I know she won't be offended by this and I'm sure it's happened before to her. I need to be sure she's taking care of herself as well and takes a break if she needs to at the right time so she can take care of me when I need her to. I need to know what some of her limits are.

I also want to tell her that if she needs to touch my private parts or my breasts that it's fine with me if it's in the right context. I know some doulas will do a peri massage,but she doesn't and says I can do it myself. It's more like if she's helping me in and out of the tub and I'm naked,well my boobs will be in the way and I don't care if she touches them. lol

I'm going to show her how to use my camera and my Mac for when I want music or when I don't. I also have to give her a list of numbers to have on hand in case of emergency and the FOB's contact info. I don't want any of that on the hospital papers,but think it's important that she has it.

Is there anything that we need to go over or that I should tell her?
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August 23rd, 2010, 07:56 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 581
i have never used a doula, so i have nothing else to add. but it sounds like you really have everything covered!
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August 23rd, 2010, 09:56 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
you sound like you have everything well thought out!
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August 23rd, 2010, 11:42 AM
Tiki's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Alberta
Posts: 1,287
The only thing I think you might want to cover is who is her back up doula? Will you get to meet them? Also how will she get all this info to the back up doula in-case she can't be there. Otherwise it sounds great

The belief that there is only one truth and that oneself is in possession of it seems to me the
deepest root of all evil that is in the world.”
— German physicist Max Born
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August 23rd, 2010, 03:02 PM
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Sadly there is no back up doula! So I don't know what to do in that case. I don't think she has anyone else delivering near me though,so I'm really hoping that nothing will stop her from being there with me.
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August 25th, 2010, 02:33 PM
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My doula just left and we had a great meeting today! Talked about everything and I showed her my birth plan and the little bracelet I got for my son that she or I will place around his wrist when he's born. I think I pretty much said all that I needed to her and cleared up a few things. She does have a back up doula and she'll get that info to me soon. She's going to be away for labor day weekend,hopefully that isn't my labor day! lol
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