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A well known doula agency upset me....

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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November 4th, 2010, 02:37 PM
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My doula said the training was really good. She also said that if she treated her doulas better they'd volunteer for them longer. She's the 3rd doula that has told me something like this about this woman!
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November 4th, 2010, 02:54 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you Kiliki for my first beautiful Siggie!

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November 4th, 2010, 03:42 PM
MamaMandy's Avatar is it Spring yet??
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Wow. Just WOW! Words are failing me here! Thank GOD their true colors were shown before you had to labor & bring your beautiful child into the world with such negative, inhumane plain ole rotten vibes around! Sheesh. I think alone would be better than having such an uncaring, rude, pompous...ok, you get the point! I have a volunteer doula, a midwife student with 5 kids & baby #6 due 8 days before I am, providing services for free and emotional support has been a HUGE part of it. I thought that was WHY people had doulas?! Otherwise, you'd have a midwife if it was "just" all for the birth techniques.
Raising my kids with boundaries - NOT battle lines.

Children are not little adults, but they ARE people too!

There's a reason they are called dependents...

AP is not alternative to those who see no other choice


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November 5th, 2010, 01:36 PM
wonderfullymade's Avatar Doula & MW Apprentice
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Have you thought of taking all coorespondence and talking to the director of the agency? Not for recompensation, but perhaps a less hostile explanation?

I can't believe her response either... it was downright belittling and rude. I'm sorry you went through that and am so glad you found a better doula.

Bellies & Babies Blogger
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November 5th, 2010, 04:28 PM
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She IS the director. The doula that she assigned to me was nice and friendly and never rude like that. This woman is the director and she also trains doulas. I think what I'll do is let the agencies that refer clients their to be ware of how she treats the lower income clients.
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November 5th, 2010, 08:07 PM
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I know what agency and who you are talking about. She really is an excellent doula and highly regarded within the community. That email REALLY surprises me.

I know that a lot of the women they usually deal with in their program are women who truly have very little and often do not even any speak English (or French), the don't have computers and probably wouldn't know what to do with one if they did have one. They are often newcomer refugees who are alone, or women in very dire straights. The doulas usually don't serve much of a touchy feely, warm fuzzy role, just a more primal sort of supportive role, if that makes sense.

Either way though, there is really no excuse for that kind of tone in the email and they agreed to take you on and emotional support is well within the scope of a doula. Keep in mind though that many of those volunteer doulas are still in the process of certifying and have little experience and may not feel comfortable being a psychologist to their clients. Sometimes a client wants more than a doula can give and sometimes that's ok.

But yeah, still pretty shocking.

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November 5th, 2010, 10:36 PM
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i'm also a client at one of the places that refers women to them. many of the women i met there were refugees that's true.

the website clearly states that the doulas do offer emotional support to their clients so i don't know how what i said was crossing the line or was to much for even a new doula with little experience to handle. all i said was that my dad didn't take my good news well and was upset with me and that i was feeling stressed then i asked if she knew of anything that could relieve the stress. i didn't go into any details at all about it either. later on though i did plan to mention that as a child i had experienced abuse and was afraid the memories mat surface during the birth,so i am soooooo glad i was not still with them other wise i don't know how they would reacted to that.
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November 7th, 2010, 04:55 PM
NavyWifey's Avatar Super Mommy
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I know I'm late to respond, but I feel like it is important to point out that a good PERSON will be there for you with a supportive word and caring advice. Yes, even when not being paid. It's beyond being a bad doula, IMHO. She was being a bad *person* to neglect you when you needed advice and support.

If only someone had bothered to explain that you should NEVER charge for doing the bare minimum society expects... being a decent human being!

Siggie by the lovely and talented GraysMama
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