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Husbands ideas on homebirth

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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July 18th, 2006, 08:48 PM
Join Date: May 2006
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 311
My husband is really against the idea of a homebirth. I only have around 7 weeks to go and each day I am getting more upset about the hospital birth that I do not want. Is there anything that your husbands had questions about and you were able to resolve? Do you have any suggestions for me? I know that it is my body but I want my husband to support my decisions. I need help!!
Kimberly- homeschooling mom to three beautiful girls


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July 18th, 2006, 10:01 PM
Frelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 6,869
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If you can get the two of you to speak to a homebirth midwife, or talk to a homebirth dad, that would really help. Ill try to come up with more concrete ideas in the morning!

My DH is a homebirth dad, and I love for him to talk to other dads!

Thank you BAM for my signature!!

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July 19th, 2006, 09:47 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: B.C. Canada
Posts: 2,121
have you asked him what it is he is against?

is he scared?

it is up to the both of you to arm yourself with knowledge, and there is a ton of info out there to encourage a great homebirth.

have you taken a tour of your hospital with your hubby? all the machines, intercoms, and not to mention all the people everywhere, that is enough sometimes to turn some dads off.

i think stressing to him that it is not a medical procedure, but a begining of the most naturaul cycle. in the hospital there is sooo much risk of intervention, and if you have the opportunity to have a homebirth, i am sure that your delivery will be sooo much more calm, intamate, and memorable

((i am not dissin hospital births for all you mamas out there.... it is a safe place, and you are able to have the birth that you want in there. i just know that a homebirth is such a great option for all us low-risk mamas, and can be very wonderful))

so, i would talk to him, and ask him what he is scared of. show him some books on homebirth, watch a video or two with him, a couple websites on the net have amazing stories, and try to put his mind at ease. i have a feeling that he will come around. let him explore all his fears~

let us know how it goes!!
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July 19th, 2006, 10:36 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 11,576
My husband was VERY against home births & birthing center births. I got him to agree to at least LOOK at the birthing center & meet with the midwife that ran it (that also does most of the homebirths in this area & that has trained the other midwives in our area).

He did -and so we went. Once he saw for himself that the set up as far as resuscitative equipment was there - it made him feel a lot better. Our hospital doesnt have a NICU so there wasnt anything MORE that our hospital could do for a baby that she couldnt do at the birthing center.

I asked him to think of his questions and issues ahead of time, and so he presented those to t he midwife. He was pleased to see her statistics, how she handled things, and to know that she didnt wait until there was a crisis to transport.

So - he accepted the birthing center, but still not a homebirth. THen - finally I got him to talk to another mom who had a homebirth, and to talk to the homebirth midwife. He also went with me to an OB appointment to ask some questions ofthe OB and to tour the hospital & ask them questions. After a lot of the hospitals attitude, and just generally knocking down a lot of things he expressed wanting... he was more open to the homebirth. It took him meeting the mdiwife to seal the deal, though.

Good luck


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July 20th, 2006, 11:06 AM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boise!
Posts: 16,196
Um, dh is against a homebirth...too many "what-ifs" for him. But I *almost* want an unassisted homebirth...almost. But I'm just planning on the bc. It took a lot (mostly finances-lack there of) to talk him into the bc, but he's ok with that now. I found something online (in my crazy preggo research) that its actually not as safe for a low-risk mom-to-be to deliver at a hospital because they put soooo many time/money issues on you and your baby and medicate the crap out of you. Dh believed that! Thank goodness.
"Unborn children should be welcomed in life and protected in law." George W. Bush

Crunchy, conservative, Christian, homeschooling, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not-vaccinating, cloth-diapering, baby-wearing, ec-ing, unassisted-birthing, breastmilk donating, Momma to 7yo, 4yo, 2yo, 2mo.
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July 21st, 2006, 05:59 PM
Join Date: May 2006
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 311
Thanks guys for the advice. I guess I should have mentioned that this will be my third delivery. I have had two hospital births-both with way too many interventions. The second being the worst. I had a great birth plan but the hospital staff and my midwife totally went against all of my wishes. I think I just wasn't as prepared as I should of been to stand up for myself. My husband was totally freaked out and didn't quite know how to help me. I have discussed it with him a bit more since I posted the other night. I am going to call around to midwives on the NC/SC line since I am on the border and see if I can find someone that will see me this far into my pregnancy. I am hoping to find someone that accepts insurance. The one that lived right in my town did but she just moved 2 1/2 hours away!! I am keeping my fingers crossed that I can get my husband to come around. I am having bad dreams nightly about going to the hospital!!
Kimberly- homeschooling mom to three beautiful girls


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July 25th, 2006, 03:54 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,425
hey guys look at the midwiferytoday and see they are coming to Germany... I might go down and see what is going on... Think I should?

Thank you Jacquie for the beautiful siggy!

Getting ready to do what I do!!!! One day at a time! Protecting your freedom!
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July 27th, 2006, 04:35 PM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,604
My hubby is against homebirth as well. I would love to do it - we have a huge bed that I love and wonderful light in our bedroom, and my 5 year old son wants to be there when the baby is born, but hubby is adamantly aginst that too, he doesn't want our son there in case there are complications. His mother's best friend had her baby at home when he was a boy and that went very wrong, resulting in brain damage so I can see where he is coming from, and while I would love to do it, it is important to me that he be comfortable as well - I want it to be a posotive experience for both of us, so since I am not against a hospital birth I will have one as he prefers. We are 5 min from the hospital so i will labor at home until the last minute anyways, and I don't expect it to take long this 4th baby.

Crissy mama to Jack 7.16.01 ~ Mia Bella 10.29.02
Angus Pickle 2.24.04 ~ Sydney Bean 10.26.06 & Kater Tot 2.15.09

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