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Letting my fears get the best of me, lately.

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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  • 1 Post By New_England_Girl
  • 1 Post By therevslady
  • 2 Post By daneeleigh

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October 3rd, 2012, 10:30 PM
Pinkapple's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Atlanta, Ga
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I've been absent from JM for about a week or so, now. I've been very busy with life, I suppose. I also feel like I'm in a very..er, boring, part of pregnancy. I'm almost 16 weeks, just waiting at this point for the gender scan or to feel some sort of movement. My sicness/other symptoms have subsided and I no longer feel like I look like an ogre. All of these things would be great, except it makes me feel less pregnant somehow.

Anyway, not "feeling" particularly pregnant has made me start to doubt myself and my body's abilities. I know that this is what I want, and it would be silly, as dedicated as I have been until now, even since before I was pregnant, to back out. That is NOT my plan. I'm simply having a few doubts about whether or not I can really handle everything. At the same time, I know my hormones are a little off lately, because I've been having a lot of depressive thoughts (although hearing my baby's heartbeat loud and strong today made me feel ten times better!)

How do you ladies deal with doubts? Is it normal to doubt yourself? This is my first pregnancy...I suppose if I knew what to expect I wouldn't really be this upset about it...
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October 15th, 2012, 09:57 AM
New_England_Girl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Chilly New England
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Sorry it's been so long; I hope you haven't completely given up hope of a reply I am usually a lurker but I come out once in a while to let people know I haven't disappeared, lol.

Anyway, it is completely normal to have doubts. I gave birth to my third a few months ago and I remember having doubts prior to his birth, even though I'm somewhat 'experienced'. But every birth is different and I think that we feel a fair amount of apprehension no matter how many times we've done it before. It's useful motivation to prepare ourselves!

The second trimester is a hard one, for sure. I have always battled mild pre-partum depression in my second trimester. Taking plenty of vitamin B and Fish Oil can actually help with those feelings, as well as getting plenty of sleep and drinking enough water (per my amazing midwife). By the time the third trimester rolls around, you should be feeling better!

It's okay to feel nervous. But remember that birth is not inherently traumatic...but many times women make it that way. The most important thing you can do is to educate yourself as best you can, and then go into birth calmly and with confidence. Don't look for things to be afraid of, because those things usually don't happen. and build a relationship with your doctor or midwife, because if you can go into labor trusting them to handle anything that you can't, you've got it made. You're going to do great!
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Hi, I'm Sara. I used to post here a lot when I was having the kids, but life got busy and it's been years since I was around. Now I'm back, and happy to be here.

Married to my best friend for a decade.
Mom to:

Cassidy, 6.5 yrs. Born 10/23/07, 7 pounds 10 ounces, 20 in.

Joel, 4.75 yrs. Born 6/23/09, 9 pounds 12 ounces, 21 in.

Timothy, 2 yrs. Born 3/20/12, 9 pounds 4 ounces, 22.5 in.

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October 15th, 2012, 11:24 AM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 6,194
Oh wow! I don't know how I totally missed this post! Sorry! It's totally normal to doubt yourself every once in a while. It's good to aknowledge your feelings without dwelling on them then give yourself some positive affirmations to say to yourself in this doubting moments. I've had 4 kids and I go nuts and think I can't do it each time. But the time comes, and I do, and it's usually easier than I expect every time.
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Previously known as ~~Que~~

Student Midwife, Doula, Placenta Specialist, and Lactation Counselor
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October 15th, 2012, 11:49 AM
BriLandy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Puyallup, Wa
Posts: 100
Hi Pinkapple. Sorry you're having a rough time right now and I hope it gets better. I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm earlier on, but was worried about a lack of "feeling pregnant" up until very recently when everything seemed to start happening. It's also my first pregnancy so I don't know what to expect either. Although I'm not really of any help, I hope everything's well with you and your baby and I would say just look forward to what's to come.

Baby girl, due May 18th, 2013.

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October 15th, 2012, 12:42 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
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I say enjoy the easy part while you can. Pretty soon there will be no doubting that you're pregnant and you'll be wondering how you ever lived outside of the bathroom.
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October 15th, 2012, 01:59 PM
Pinkapple's Avatar Veteran
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Thank you ladies! I've started to feel much better lately about things. I also changed my prenatal vitamins per my midwife's recommendation and I've been feeling much more positive than before. I think I was in kind of a slump at this point. I plan to go to the library soon to pick up more natural birth books to keep me occupied/confident.
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October 15th, 2012, 07:30 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 584
Even better than books is a good friend. If you have a friend or know someone you can grow a relationship with who has done natural childbirth before it is a complete God send. I was very fortunate to have a friend who had 2 children naturally before I even met her and was with her through her 3rd pregnancy (I also nannied her little girl so she could get some work done). She had the amazing ability to impart her knowledge and how things went for her without the minuet details some people feel the need to include. She let me know that NCB is possible, I could do it, and when I did have a pregnancy slump or concern she was there to talk to. I didn't have to try to find the answer. I could just ask.

If you don't have someone like that just call your m/w. Make her more than just your m/w but your buddy.
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