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Irrational fears..okay, maybe not irrational!

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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February 15th, 2013, 05:48 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,797
This is baby number 10 for us and I'll be 30 weeks next week .

I have never had pain meds, but as my belly grows, so do my fears of pushing baby out. I don't really mind the laboring to 10, but the pushing scares me. I've delivered in almost every position and it varies so much with each birth. But the pushing that hurts....that scares me. How do you calm your fears. I "know" that it's better for baby and Mama to go natural, but the thought of that pain again creeps into my mind.

Enough rambling, sorry. How do you calm those fears?
alittlelost likes this.
Jesus loving, homeschooling, gardening lover, devoted wife to a wonderful hubby and 10 kids, ages 13 down to 12.5 months . We are expecting number 11 due January 1st, 2015.

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February 15th, 2013, 10:23 PM
Themrs0523's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 766
Today must be the day for those fears. This is #1 for us and I was just going to post the same question.... How do you conquer those fears?? I just watched a natural birth video and it was amazing to see but terrifying at the same time.

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February 16th, 2013, 08:08 AM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 6,194
I pray. REAL hard.

Previously known as ~~Que~~

Student Midwife, Doula, Placenta Specialist, and Lactation Counselor
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February 16th, 2013, 03:19 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6,905
the pushing phase is the worst for me. feels like I'm ripping in half. Would love to know a solution for that!
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February 17th, 2013, 10:46 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,647
The pushing was the best part for me. I honestly never thought about the pushing before hand other than I prepared for doing it for two hours. Luckily it took like 5 minutes. I really didn't prepare for my fears well enough before my labor. It was my first and I had no clue what to expect. Luckily my doula and hubby walked me through my labor and were so encouraging that they put my fears aside.
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February 18th, 2013, 08:31 AM
cheezpoofs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Buffalo, New York
Posts: 6,085
I just push my fears aside and do it. I don't feel much fear today, but sometimes "fear" the pain. I try not to think about it and distract myself so I don't focus too much on it. Music during labor was very helpful when I labored with my first and I made a playlist for this time too.

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February 18th, 2013, 09:49 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: I'm a husker girl :)
Posts: 16,336
pushing has always been a relief for me, so im not sure i have any wise suggestions - but for my first pregnancy i was terrified of pushing and the ring of fire, but once i got to that point all i wanted was the baby OUT. with hunter it happened so fast, i don't remember what i was thinking other than my husband better get his arse up there with the camera....lol....

I guess maybe try to remember that there's only a few ways the baby can come out - and pushing is the least invasive, most natural, least risky way...and remember that once the baby is out, we almost always forget the pain immediately because of that beautiful hormone rush

Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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February 18th, 2013, 11:59 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
It's not irrational! It DOES hurt. And who isn't afraid of pain...especially pain that they can anticipate beforehand.

To be honest, I am glad people talk about this. Because I felt that I just must have been "doing it wrong" for it to hurt that badly for me and so many others think it is a relief to be able to push. It is extremely painful for me. I pushed in a bad position with my first, so I attributed it to that. And my second...still hurt like the dickens. It feels like I am breaking in two. BUT, like the others, I am trying not to focus on that, since it's a really short part of labor and I know I have done it before and can do it again. Plus, it's over immediately after that baby pops out. Then I don't care any more. So I just keep focusing on that immediately after moment and I think it will get me through the worst of the pain. But I am scared too.
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February 18th, 2013, 02:14 PM
GranolaMamaOf3's Avatar ~Heather~
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: GA
Posts: 5,906
I am a little more nervous about it this time than last. My first was tiny and pretty easy. My second was a full 2 lbs bigger and took more concentration. Ultimately though I find pushing to be exciting (not sure that's the word to use...) because it means there is an end in sight! I guess it would also depend on how long of a pushing phase you normally have.. I only pushed around 30 minutes, so it hasn't been bad.

I guess my advice is to focus on the fact that it's almost over, and you will be holding your baby soon! It really is out of your control, so try not to fight it and just go with it. And yes, pray and breath!

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February 18th, 2013, 03:51 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,797
Thanks ladies! It really means a lot to know I am not the only one with fears.

I have more times after I've done it so many times, than I did after having only a couple, and I'm not sure why. I think the fear gets worse everytime. My DH tries to remind me that I can do it and have made it through and is a great labor/delivery support. He has gotten better with each one, where I feel like I've regressed with each one.

Sorry to ramble so much! But we do pray through the contractions, and do get exciting knowing we are getting close

Thanks again ladies. I'll try and focus on meeting our little one and just enduring those few minutes of pain. I appreciate it!
Jesus loving, homeschooling, gardening lover, devoted wife to a wonderful hubby and 10 kids, ages 13 down to 12.5 months . We are expecting number 11 due January 1st, 2015.

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