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October 18th, 2006, 11:43 AM
MrsPil's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Quad Cities
Posts: 1,305
As some of you know I'm planning a homebirth hopefully unassisted though I do have a homebirth midwife (who I've never seen in person but swapped emails and phone calls with) as a plan B and an OB for plan C.

I've only seen the OB twice, my second appointment was today actually, and every time I go it shakes my confidence in my body's ability to birth. She's a great lady, I've refused so much testing from her and she's still so patient and even tells me that she sees me as an equal and not a normal patient. I know that if I start out in a hospital I will wimp out and get drugs, my resolve tends to turn to a sweltering pile of poo when I'm around medical professionals.

IDK, I feel badly... I feel like every time I see her I lose that much more of my knowledge of birth. FRUSTRATING! And my DH doesn't "get it" so... I don't even know what I'm trying to say, I just need to get up some stones and reclaim control of my pregnancy but I feel like I'm letting my OB down. Does that even make any sense? Ah, I need a hug... and a grilled cheese.
"I trust birth—not birth attendants—for if you only trust birth that is attended then you really don't trust birth at all. You trust the attendant. And then you start over. Who? Doctor, surgeon, CNM, CPM, SIM? And it goes on and on...." - Carla Hartley
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." -Gandhi
"What good fortune for those in power that people do not think." - Adolph Hitler

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October 18th, 2006, 11:56 AM
abigailsilva's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,103
sweetie, if your appointments make you feel crummy, DON"T GO! Yes, it is nice that you have found an OB that is supportive of you, if I were you, I would go to her and say look. I need to do this on my own in order to have complete faith in my body, thank you so much, and I will call you if I need you. I think you should keep her phone number so that if for any reason you DO need a DOCTOR than you have one that you know and "trust" I understand what you mean though, I really do, I always felt like crap when I left the OB office, whereas I get a nice warm fuzzy feeling with my independant midwife. Do what you feeel is right for the birth YOU want.
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October 18th, 2006, 10:37 PM
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 5
You know it is HARD not to be nervous around Dr.'s .. nurses.. anyone that is in the Medical profession. but here is the difference. You know what you want and you are planning for it. In alot off ways you are lucky your OB is being supportive and in no way critical of you I think that says alot about her.
Feel CONFIDENT!! You know what your doing and trusting your body and your baby to do what it needs to do when the time comes. The Dr is just there to support your well being during your pregnancy. As far as feeling like your going to just wimp out at the thought of a hospital and what not.. its all brainpower and the knowledge that you CAN do this and you ARE going to do this. The more prepared you are the more knowledge you have the more comfortable you become. In any situation.. not just birthing babies But ESPECIALLY when you have your little one. Just believe hon.
Visualize Feel calm and happy
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October 19th, 2006, 03:20 PM
wonderfullymade's Avatar Doula & MW Apprentice
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Galveston, TX
Posts: 1,844
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I concur... lol!!!

If she MAKES you feel crummy - don't go. If you simply feel crummy yourself for going - then remember - SHE SEES YOU AS AN EQUAL and is SUPPORTIVE. Wow.. not many women can have that!

You CAN do this. You were made to do this. Your body was DESIGNED to do this!

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