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I'm already worrying about this

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January 8th, 2011, 07:06 AM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 25,063
My DH and I don't feel we are done. We would love one more child and were going to NTNP for a year but this week my DH said he would like to TTC again sooner, when my PPAF comes back. It did take so long to finally have Sam and my endo has been getting worse without a doubt, I do feel like TTC as soon as possible is the best chance we have of getting baby #4 before I have to have a hysterectomy. I am kind of excited about having plans to TTC again but I am scared too.

Last night I started just having flashbacks to losing Daisy. Every loss has affected me but I just can't seem to begin to get over losing her. I bonded with her instantly and felt a closeness to her while I was pregnant that I have never felt in any other pregnancy. I had 4 losses while we were TTC Sam, I had 5 when we were TTC Angelica. Between Angelica and Natasha I only had one chemical pregnancy, and I have had a kind of feeling that maybe history will repeat itself and trying for #4 will be as easy as trying for #2 was. But I also worry I am totally wrong and we're going to go through the same thing again.

I'm sorry if I'm rambling,I've been going over and over this in my head since we talked about it earlier this week. I know we are in a better position now because I know that I need progesterone and I know the best supplements to help strengthen my fertility but I just wish I could go into TTC feeling more positive. Losses steal your innocence and optimism away from you

Thanks for listening and sorry if I have rambled too much x
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January 8th, 2011, 08:09 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
TTC should be an exciting time in life. Losses are hard because it does steal optimism. We just have to push forward in faith that we will be able to have a child.

Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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January 8th, 2011, 09:13 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,613
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*hugs* I understand your fear. Unfortunately, I'm not sure it will ever go away. I hope that this next time is easy on you!

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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January 13th, 2011, 03:30 PM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,740
I can totally sympathize with that fear. I agree, one of the most tragic things about RPL is that it robs you of the joy of pregnancy and TTCing. I'm also semi excited about the thought of maybe TTCing this year or next, but I dread giving up my hard earned peace of the past 2 years.

Best of luck in whatever you decide sweets.

*Thank you so much to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!*

Sophie Lucille: In my life for a moment, in my heart for a lifetime. May 25th, 2006 at 16 weeks.
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