Log In Sign Up

Just venting

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Pregnant after recurrent loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
January 17th, 2010, 01:47 PM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Carmel, CA
Posts: 5,872
Send a message via Yahoo to LisaB
I don't know why I'm in such a bad mood today. I just wanted to get something off my chest.

When I told a close friend I was pregnant again, via chat (we often chat when we're both working), her reaction was to send me a long letter explaining how she was concerned that I am already too exhausted and overwhelmed with my twins to add another baby to the mix.

As if I could send him back like overcooked pasta?

I'm sorry. I guess we just felt that any baby conceived by me should probably be called Jesus, given my history. I would never dream of terminating this pregnancy. I am floored anyone would suggest it. Not that she suggested it in so many words, but what else could it mean? The horse is out, does no good to close the barn door now. Yes, I am pretty tired these days. Yes, it will be difficult financially, though all it really means is that the college fund we have set aside for our girls will now have to stretch a little further, and we still have 16 years to save. We will make it work.

Sorry. Vent over.

Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!

Reply With Quote
January 18th, 2010, 08:47 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,613
Send a message via AIM to esparando para bebé Send a message via Yahoo to esparando para bebé
*hugs* I'm so sorry I missed this yesterday. (Not sure how I did!)

I'm sorry your friend was so awful to you. Personally, I'd tell my friend off if they did something like that.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
Reply With Quote
January 18th, 2010, 02:00 PM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Texas
Posts: 12,914
Why can't people just be happy about a new little life???!!! Even if they are not happy they should just say congratulations and keep their mouths shut! That is your son she talking about.

I am sorry you got a lecture and not the happy congratulations you should have. (((HUGS)))

Reply With Quote
January 20th, 2010, 11:29 AM
StephLS's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 653
Don't let your friend get you down. With all of what you went through just to have your girls, its awesome that you are pregnant with another child! It might not be easy to another to the mix, but just like anyone in this world who has multiple kids, you'll figure out how to make things work.

Married to Eric since June 25, 2005
mom to
3 Angel babies and Ryan and Rachel
Ryan born 6-18-08
Rachel born 3-20-10
Baby boy due on 2-24-14

Everything Good comes on time - we just don't know when that time is.
Reply With Quote
January 25th, 2010, 04:33 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
What an ignorant & ridiculous reply! BLEH! People make me really angry sometimes. Since she felt so free to interject her opinion on this so rudely I think you really ought to let her know it was rude & that after all you have been through to have a baby - that ANY baby is something you & Dh will ALWAYS view as a huge blessing & you are sad that she doesn't see it that way as well. Heck, my mom had 4 kids in 5 yrs...was it a LOT to handle? Of course! And she says she was wayyyy overwhelmed at times (she was/is devoutly Catholic & did NOT want to use birth control)....anyway - she still did a fantastic job & money was tight ALWAYS (and then 5 yrs after she got me to add to that! LOL)...but I honestly think we are none the worse for it. There was no college fund, I rarely had new clothes (hand me downs) - but I had a much more attentive & loving mom than most kids I knew & looking back, I don't think I missed a THING that anyone needs....the true "needs" were met in abundance.

People just loose sight of the big picture sometimes. I know this will be quite a juggle for you - as it is for all moms...but you will do it & do a beautiful job of it!

I will congratulate you again & again to make up for all those stupid boneheads!

B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

Reply With Quote
January 27th, 2010, 11:54 AM
HippyMomOf4's Avatar Hippy Mom Extraordinaire
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Tulare, CA
Posts: 13,686
Send a message via AIM to HippyMomOf4 Send a message via MSN to HippyMomOf4 Send a message via Yahoo to HippyMomOf4
I tend to just ignore people like that, its your life and your body and if you want to have 10 kids so be it. My in laws are totally against DH and I having a 4th child but i made it clear i will do as i please. Sorry she was being so insensitive towards you.

Oh and congrats on team blue!

Reply With Quote
January 28th, 2010, 11:54 AM
mellochick's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Washington, DC Suburbs
Posts: 1,073
Send a message via AIM to mellochick
People can be so ignorant. They have no idea what we've gone through (and some do know and still make comments like that!). It's infuriating. I would let her know that she offended you and why. You are right to feel your child is a gift from God and you should be happy. You'll find the energy to love and care for another baby.

My prayers for a healthy baby to hold in my arms were answered on
February 18, 2010. God is GOOD! Mommy to 6 angel babies.
Reply With Quote
January 30th, 2010, 06:49 PM
alethia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 18,623
I'm sorry hun! That would have pissed me off. You'll def find the energy - all mom's are amazing like that - it just comes from somewhere. And your babies will be a bit older by the time baby comes and more independent, especially since they're twins they'll be able to play more together - my mom was sooooooooooo thankful my brother and I were twins because of that fact.
Reply With Quote
February 3rd, 2010, 03:58 PM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Carmel, CA
Posts: 5,872
Send a message via Yahoo to LisaB
Sorry for the late reply. I was out of town. THANKS, ladies! you all really cheered me up! Muah!

Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!

Reply With Quote
February 16th, 2010, 10:00 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
Lisa, I was overjoyed when Becki told me you were pregnant! I am sorry your "friend" said something so hurtful and ignorant. She's lucky you didn't go off on here...I mean she is messing with mama bear here, she would have deserved a lashing! This life is such a beautiful and wonderful miracle, it's that person's loss to not see this baby for that. You concentrate on you and your family. I know it's hard not to let negative people bring you down at times but keep your eye on the prize my friend. All your dreams are coming true! How wonderful it is to have been able to see this come to flourishen after such heartache. I heard this statement today "God bless the broken road"....you deserve this family. (((hugs)))
Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:19 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0