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Feeling very pessimistic. Warning - rant


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  #1  
April 15th, 2010, 03:28 PM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
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I'm really not feeling it. I don't feel pregnant in the slightest and it's not helping me feel any better about this one sticking. I am sick of trying to tell myuself every pregnancy is different, I feel like I know the difference between a sticky one and a non-sticky one by now. I have no symptoms at all, apart from not having AF. I haven't felt even slightly queasy, no tender breasts, no increased CM, and most importantly no exhaustion. I have CFS and with both my girls I was totally flawed with exhaustion from the moment they stuck. The times I haven't had that exhaustion I've gone on to miscarry.

I had a horrible doctor's appointment last week where the GP (I'd never seen this one before) wouldn't refer me for an early scan because she assumed I was just going to miscarry again. That totally ruined the last bit of positivity I had about this pregnancy. I went over her head and contacted the hospital directly, and I have a scan booked for next friday but I can't seem to believe this baby is going to stick.

I hate that I am wishing away this pregnancy to get to every milestone of every loss and then every scan. I want to enjoy it and appreciate it but I can't. I have worked really hard on trying to believe and become more positive but it's not happening.

I'm sorry for ranting. I'm just getting scared about next week
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  #2  
April 15th, 2010, 03:44 PM
dreamer10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Go ahead and rant Misty....it's ok. I don't think anyone will blame you. I am just days away from hopefully getting my bfp and then I can't help but think that means that I am just weeks away from another miscariage. After several loses those of us tend to think loss before we think sticky bean....kind of a "I will believe it when I see it" thing.

I can't see inside that uterus of yours so I can't reassure you..but I can say hang in there and I will be praying and hoping for you!

Keep us posted!
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Our rainbow baby Brynlee Sue was born August 17th after four heartbreaking loses! Life is an amazing journey. Hang on, keep your faith and try to always move forward!
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  #3  
April 16th, 2010, 08:17 AM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
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Hugs!!!!!!!!

If it helps at all (and I know, nothing really helps right now ) I learned after several miscarriages that your mind plays tricks on you. I used to trust my instincts about my pgcys, then found out I couldn't trust them at all. I was sure of so many things that turned out not to be true, both good and bad. Try to take a deep breath, and not listen to that "inner voice" which is a liar!!

The GP was probably doing the typical doctor thing - they don't like to get their patients' hopes up, and they are conservative about scheduling ultrasounds too soon purely because of insurance reasons. Don't read anything into that.
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  #4  
April 20th, 2010, 08:51 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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*hugs* I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner. I just posted on the main board about that.

Any updates? How are you feeling? I apologize about your GP appointment. For what it's worth, DH would have had to hold me back!
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  #5  
May 11th, 2010, 03:16 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Michigan
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I am sorry I haven't been around much - but was hoping you had an update.... Those early days & weeks are so hard.... I a m hoping you had that scan & all went well. It is so hard to know what is normal...because I have been convinced several times while both boys that it was unlikely they were sticky beans...and yet here they are.
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  #6  
June 4th, 2010, 10:54 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Well at least your siggy looks good
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