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Feeling very pessimistic. Warning - rant

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April 15th, 2010, 03:28 PM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 25,063
I'm really not feeling it. I don't feel pregnant in the slightest and it's not helping me feel any better about this one sticking. I am sick of trying to tell myuself every pregnancy is different, I feel like I know the difference between a sticky one and a non-sticky one by now. I have no symptoms at all, apart from not having AF. I haven't felt even slightly queasy, no tender breasts, no increased CM, and most importantly no exhaustion. I have CFS and with both my girls I was totally flawed with exhaustion from the moment they stuck. The times I haven't had that exhaustion I've gone on to miscarry.

I had a horrible doctor's appointment last week where the GP (I'd never seen this one before) wouldn't refer me for an early scan because she assumed I was just going to miscarry again. That totally ruined the last bit of positivity I had about this pregnancy. I went over her head and contacted the hospital directly, and I have a scan booked for next friday but I can't seem to believe this baby is going to stick.

I hate that I am wishing away this pregnancy to get to every milestone of every loss and then every scan. I want to enjoy it and appreciate it but I can't. I have worked really hard on trying to believe and become more positive but it's not happening.

I'm sorry for ranting. I'm just getting scared about next week

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April 15th, 2010, 03:44 PM
dreamer10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Utah
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Go ahead and rant Misty....it's ok. I don't think anyone will blame you. I am just days away from hopefully getting my bfp and then I can't help but think that means that I am just weeks away from another miscariage. After several loses those of us tend to think loss before we think sticky bean....kind of a "I will believe it when I see it" thing.

I can't see inside that uterus of yours so I can't reassure you..but I can say hang in there and I will be praying and hoping for you!

Keep us posted!
The adventures of raising a big family....Life, love and family in the Sock Bin! www.thesockbin.blogspot.com

Our rainbow baby Brynlee Sue was born August 17th after four heartbreaking loses! Life is an amazing journey. Hang on, keep your faith and try to always move forward!
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April 16th, 2010, 08:17 AM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
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If it helps at all (and I know, nothing really helps right now ) I learned after several miscarriages that your mind plays tricks on you. I used to trust my instincts about my pgcys, then found out I couldn't trust them at all. I was sure of so many things that turned out not to be true, both good and bad. Try to take a deep breath, and not listen to that "inner voice" which is a liar!!

The GP was probably doing the typical doctor thing - they don't like to get their patients' hopes up, and they are conservative about scheduling ultrasounds too soon purely because of insurance reasons. Don't read anything into that.

Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!

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April 20th, 2010, 08:51 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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*hugs* I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner. I just posted on the main board about that.

Any updates? How are you feeling? I apologize about your GP appointment. For what it's worth, DH would have had to hold me back!

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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May 11th, 2010, 03:16 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I am sorry I haven't been around much - but was hoping you had an update.... Those early days & weeks are so hard.... I a m hoping you had that scan & all went well. It is so hard to know what is normal...because I have been convinced several times while both boys that it was unlikely they were sticky beans...and yet here they are.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
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June 4th, 2010, 10:54 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
Well at least your siggy looks good
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