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Unplanned Pregnancy

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June 5th, 2006, 01:10 PM
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: London, Ontario Canada
Posts: 163
Send a message via MSN to nicole1977
Hello Gentlemen

Sorry for budding in your chat but I have a few questions and I'd like to introduce my bf to you all and a little of our situation.

I'm Nicole 28, and Todd 38. We have been together about 2 months and we are now pregnant, unexpected since I'm on Depo.

We are both going through an awful stage right now, we are fighting, can't agree to disagree.

I found out the other day that I'm 5 weeks pregnant, his first choice was to have an abortion. I will not have an abortion, I'm neither mentally or physically capable for it. His second choice was adoption, again I couldn't give birth and then have someone else raise my child. I'm sure you all can understand my situation BUT he feels that I'm not allowing him any a choice in the matter, itís either my way or no way.

I'm so confused, I don't want to loose him but it's not fair for a child to be brought into this world with only one parent but there are plenty single men and women raising their children on their own and I know I can do it.

He is going through an angry stage right now but he is trying to give me choices with regards to me moving into his place, living apart or not being together at all.

I don't understand the male species but I do understand that they try to be providers/protectors etc. I just don't know how I could be with a man that wanted me to dispose of our child, and then want to stay with me because he is trying to be responsible. I respect that, I really do but emotionally I would always wonder in the back of my head if he is actually happy and will not resent the baby and myself when times may be difficult.

I'm sorry if my message seems "all over the place", I just thought that maybe one of you guys have been in a similar situation and can empathize with my boyfriend and shed a little light on our situation.

What do we do? Is there hope for us? Any advice or personal experience even thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry for the intrusion.

Thank you for listening


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June 6th, 2006, 07:00 AM
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: London, Ontario Canada
Posts: 163
Send a message via MSN to nicole1977

Well we both sat down and talked everything though and we are going to try to make the best of it. Take it one day at a time and ensure that our relationship strengthens so that we can become well rounded parents that love one another and that can provide for our child.

I thought for sure that he wouldn't be ready for this, well the both of us arenít but we will make it though this difficult time. I think once I start to show our lil'bean it will be more surreal.

I wanted to say thank you as well for everyone thus far that has given advice and shared their experiences with us.

Thank you so much !!

Pray for us please, I know deep down that we can make it !!!

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June 13th, 2006, 11:27 PM
EmilysMommy04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Horseheads NY
Posts: 1,997
Send a message via AIM to EmilysMommy04
Ok Im not a guy but my hubby just read that and he is a little pissed. He said how can any man say that have an abortion give it up for adoption. If he doesnt want to be the daddy there are men out there ready to love you are your baby. Babies are not mistakes they are blessings. I hope everything goes well for you and you made the right choice to keep your baby. if you need to talk pm me

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June 14th, 2006, 05:09 AM
imsowitty's Avatar Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 41
Kay first of all please don't think I'm bashing your fella. I know as a guy when I first found out that my DW Was pregnant all sorts of crap just ran through my head. Finding out your going to be a father will send pretty much any man for a loop. But, I'm not cool on the whole you should have an abortion or give him up for adoption thing. You're not talking about a puppy or kitten here you're talking about a person. I living human being. I'm glad he's trying to stick it out and hopefully once he wraps his head around the initial shock he'll step up. Give him a chance but don't let him walk on you, Remember your health and Baby's health and safety come first. Good luck and most importantly Congrats

Take Care
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
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