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May 5th, 2008, 08:26 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Fort Myers Florida
Posts: 1,871
Ok so my inlaws are monsters. I do not like them now and not sure if I ever really will. We are having Addison Baptized on June 1. We already have her gown, well my fil called tonight to say that it is the godmothers responsibility to buy the gown and the godfather to make the donation to the church and opposite if it is a boy. Never heard of such a thing. My husband and I bought the gown and want it to stay in the family and passed on to her children one day. Then they proceed to tell me that its the godparents responsibility to have the brunch after. Ok my sister is the godmother shes still in college she only 19 and by BIL is 24 and lives at home still. Then my MIL gets on the phone and tells me she ordered a rosary from a girl she works with that makes jewelry. We are having her baptized Lutheran and I have no idea what to do with it, isnt that a Catholic thing? Maybe this is how things are done in her family but not mine, and now im the bad guy for not following the "rules". I didn't know there was rules. Is there customary things to do that I am missing????? Please help! I am loosing my sanity over this. It is worse than my baby shower at this point, and this is still a month away!
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May 5th, 2008, 08:52 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
Yikes! I don't know about what's customary because we do baby dedications at our church which is similar but we don't do a gown or anything like that. Yes, a rosary is Catholic, so I'm not sure why you would want one at a Lutheran baptism. Is your MIL not religious? Doesn't she understand the differences between denominations? Or maybe if she is Catholic, she doesn't understand that others do things differently? You buying your daughter's gown seems logical. It doesn't seem logical for your sister or someone else to buy it or your BIL to pay the donation. I hope things go well and there isn't any more drama. Maybe your DH can explain it all to her, after all it's his mom. Good luck!

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May 6th, 2008, 11:40 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,976
That's just ridiculous of them--especially since they are not the godparents and shouldn't really be concerned about who buys what or donates to whom!

First off, you have a dress...so your sister is off the hook for that one. Second, does your church require a donation for babtism? If it does, had you already planned on making one? If so, then that takes care of the second issue.

Also, had you already planned on a brunch or something for afterwards? Who really cares if the godparents pay for it or if you guys do? And what's it to them anyways??

I think the only issue here that directly involves your MIL and FIL is the rosary and I would politely thank her, but let her know that as Lutherans, you don't pray the rosary and wouldn't know really what to do with it. (let her know though that if in lieu of the rosary, she wants to make a donation to the church.....)

I think that the greatest thing is that nobody really has to follow "THE RULES". Will any of your guests care who pays for what or buys what or donates this or that??!

I say that it's YOUR baby, do what you and DH have already discussed and forget what is SUPPOSED to be.
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May 6th, 2008, 02:20 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
Very well put. She just needs to but out. Do things however you want and ignore her. You will want to remember that this special occasion was just the way you wanted it to be not how she wanted it to be.

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