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August 24th, 2008, 04:27 PM
DonovinsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 4,220
Let me start with a few facts first:
My mother in law is an alcoholic who refuses to admit it
my father in law sees it is wrong but still supports her
My Brother in law only see's shes wrong until we say something
DH and I are on the same page.
She has broken our trust before.
They Live RIGHT next door!

Now onto my story! Sorry it is really long!

Last weekend my FIL went away for the weekend on a business trip. MIL swears he is having an affair, which he is not. She bagged up all his stuff the night before he left and threaten to harm herself if he went. The day he was to leave she acted all fine! however, we got a phone call to watch out for her because of everything she was saying! Well sunday rolls around and she lost it she called his boss and threatened to sue them for ruining her marriage and threatened to harm herself again. So FIL comes home for her to hit him and throw things at him. So he comes over for some support. we tell him that we will help in anyway possible.

Day 2 of the fight.
Cops come because of the abuse and he is at my house seeing my 4 month old for support. telling me that he wants to get her commited for alcohol abuse and mental issues. My husband is at work. He comes home to see the cops and his dad leaving. he goes next door to see what is going on. all she wants to talk about is why she can't watch the baby! Husband gets soo mad cuz of everything tells her NEVER until she gets sober. she calls me and says "how dare you tell me I will never watch my grandson. you have broken my heart. blah blah blah" so I tell her when she gets sober. she says I do not have a problem with alcohol. (She drinks vodka on ice). DH is leaving her house she tells him that he is not her son. She has done this 7 or 8 times in 5yrs. He tells her that she is done and that she is dead to him and that she will never see the baby until she was sober. I tell her what I was thinking. and I am sure it hurt because it was the truth.

Day 3 of the fight.
She emails me a nasty letter and I responed with complete truth. DH is done being told that he is not your son. that she needs to go to AA.
I get emails back in regards to how my family failed my brother (who has been dead for 2 yrs) mined you it had tons of lies and just cruel things regarding him. "Did i break his heart like i did hers is that why he is dead)

I told them that I am done----she has closed the door by using those emails. ( I find out that she was sober and sent them a day after she actually wrote them. to be vengful) then I got an email about an hour 1/2 later with a half a** apology saying that if i could just see it from her perspective. She was told she could not see her grandson. so that makes it okay to bring up my brother and my family and tell her son that "he is not her son"

she checked herself into the hospital to find out that she has high blood pressure and my DH is getting phone calls that she may be dead and he will have regrets. And "She is his mother" and he must forgive her.

I can't even finish this---it would be too long and It is soo upsetting!
Im done ---- he is done!

Are we wrong for not wanting them in our lives until she is sober!?
would you trust her to watch your child?
could you forgive someone who brought up your dead brother and your family?

thanks girls! please help if you can!
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August 24th, 2008, 05:48 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
Hugs sweetie! No, I wouldn't trust her to watch my child. My MIL is addicted to prescription meds and she has never ever been left alone with my son and I wouldn't leave him with my ILs at all until he was 18 months and could walk and talk and only at our house because I'm afraid at their house FIL might go in another room and leave her to watch him and they have a pool. No one will admit that she has this problem but I think they all know it in their hearts. She has been arrested and convicted of a DUI because of her meds and last time she was here I looked up some of her meds online and she's on two controlled substances prescribed by different docs and a host of other prescription and non-prescrption meds. She has attempted suicide and threatened to leave my FIL because he doesn't love her (translation: he wouldn't put up with her crap). Everything is a major deal and she's got to be the center of attention, sound familiar? She isn't loud and rude, so I think that's the main difference here. I don't think you are out of line one bit.

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August 26th, 2008, 06:03 AM
gavinsmommy9-19-06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Kirkwood, NY
Posts: 1,288
OMG it breaks my heart for you that she even had the audacity to bring up Josh! jusst cuz she cant love her family they way yours loved Josh doesnt give her the right to be that hurtful to you! poor Johnny. I know it is killing chris not to speak to his mom but our situation is no where near the caliber that yours is John must be crushed. what kills me is our MIL problems they say are to do with the boys and not seeing them enough and what not but neither of them will do anything to make the situation better they expect us to jus be the one to turn the other cheek. im sooo sorry! if it ever gets too bad there and you want to get Donovin away adn dont want to bring your parents in call me and I will come get him to get him out of there! im always here for you!
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