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September 12th, 2008, 02:53 PM
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Usually this would be something exciting but I am a basket case!!! My SIL had their new baby today...a boy....MIL got what she wanted...BIL got what he wanted....they both wanted a boy for a "change of pace" since there were all these girls......(they have two older girls). I guess they failed to realize that they already had a boy in the family (Nate). MIL has never shown one iota of interest in Nate, only the girls....but she wanted this one to be a boy, why I dont' know since she was never happy we were having a boy. Anyways so it's a boy and I'm afraid, actually I know, that Nate will not exist at all now that everyone got their boy. I know what it feels like to not be important to grandparents and I don't want that for my son. I know with all certainty this new little boy will be the only one to exist in grandma and grandpa's eyes. I am hurt b/c I don't want my son to feel like somethign is wrong with him b/c he doesn't "exist" you know. My mother says I am being so irrational and what does it matter if they dont' have anythign to do with him......Should I give them the benefit of the doubt for the bazillionth time and give them a chance to prove me wrong.....oh how I wish they would....Tell me I'm not being completely crazy!!!!!!!!!
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September 13th, 2008, 01:11 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
You aren't crazy. You just want so badly for your son to not be hurt. I guess I would give them a chance within reason, especially if your son is too young to realize what is happening yet. But as he gets older, I wouldn't put him into situations where you know he will get hurt. That's just being a good mom. I understand that it's really hard to get over your child being slighted. It hurts to think your child isn't loved like they should be. When my brother got married there were 6 nieces and nephews both sides. My sister's children are older and her son was ringbearer and her daughter was helping her serve cake so a boutiniere and corsage were made for them. My SILs niece was flower girl and she had a corsage and then she had another niece and nephew along with my son who weren't involved in the wedding party or anything else like that, my son was almost 10 months and her niece was about 6 months and the other nephew was 2 or 3. She had a little corsage and boutiniere made for her niece and nephew that weren't involved as well but nothing for my son. He was the only one out of the 6 who had nothing. That really really hurt me for him to be overlooked even though it didn't make a whit of difference to him. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt, that she just forgot. I haven't cut them out of my life. I just think that I would be really careful if there was anything going on where all of our families were together for some reason, where he might get hurt again. It's not really the same as your situation, because you will have to face family get togethers with your parents and other family a lot. Honestly, if their behavior is blantant favoritism I would start to refuse to go. I would be brutally honest with them and say unless things change then you won't attend family functions. They are always welcome to come on their own to see you and Nate but you won't subject him to their favoritism for their other grandchildren. And then the ball is in their court!

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