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MIL takes over as mom

Forum: Inlaws


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September 15th, 2008, 01:46 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 378
anyone else's MIL like to take over as mom while you visit? my MIL loves to take over and control everything and everyone....how do you handle that? what do you say? its been 10 years now and I am finally getting my nerve up to say something since DH won't. we have a newborn and a 4 year old, and a separation is looking mighty fine right now. but i couldn't leave cause then if dh had the kids i would be worried about what SHE is doing with them.
DD#1- Isabelle Marie, 3.5 years old
DD#2 -Elliana Ann, born August 20, 2008
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September 15th, 2008, 05:11 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
Hugs! I'm sorry that she thinks it's ok to just come in and take over. I really don't have that problem because my MIL doesn't think about anyone but herself, but I can imagine that it's terribly disruptive to your routine. I would go ahead and say something if your DH won't. Someone needs to set some boundries in place. Maybe try explaining what is helpful and what is disruptive, for instance, it may be helpful if she offers to make dinner but disruptive if it's not ready at the time the kids are used to eating or if she makes something that no one in your family likes. Again, it might give you a break if she wants to help supervise bathtime for your older daughter but not acceptable if she gives it whenever she pleases, doesn't ask you, or breaks whatever rules you have established. My MIL can't seem to understand that DS needs to eat about the same time, nap about the same time, go to bed about the same time. We are flexible but dinner at 7:30 is going to cause all kinds of problems for a 2 year old! I would be very direct with her that she needs to fit into your routine and that the buck stops with you and if she doesn't like it, then she can stay away! I hope you can get things straightened out. Hugs!

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