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Valentine's Day and my ILs

Forum: Inlaws


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February 16th, 2009, 09:30 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,033
DH and I had planned dinner and a movie for Valentine's Day since I managed to get it off work through some amazing gift from above.
MIL was going to have DN (DH's twin brother's son) at her house for the weekend starting Thursday and ending this afternoon. She decided after two hours in DN's company that DH and I were going to keep him from Friday night until Sunday morning (returning DN to her just in time for her to take him to church and be the 'model grandmother' to her church acquaintances). We ended up only keeping him from Friday night until late Saturday night because I had to work at 6 am on Sunday morning. MIL just got a new house after her last divorce (#2 or #3 depends on whether you count her divorcing FIL twice as one or two divorces) and it is a sixty year old woman's personal sanctuary and not kid friendly in the least. She has this huge tv but she wants to watch what she wants to watch when she wants to watch it. She has a computer but she doesn't want him to play games on it because he might hurt it somehow. She wants him to sit on her $800 sofa (yes, she told DN how much it cost her when he was being a bit rambunctious) I guess it is her world and the rest of us are just living in it.
Of course, DN is no angel. I will admit that he has issues because his mother abandoned him and has disappeared to parts unknown. BIL is a blooming idiot who has to have a girlfriend in order to feel like he has worth as a person and he always moves in with these women and their children, dragging DN along. DN took money from the latest gf's purse last week. He flushed a photo of the gf's daughter down MILs toilet along with a pair of his underwear today before he went back to MI with BIL. DH, BIL and SIL (their older sister) had to take apart MILs toilet in order to get it unstopped. Oh, you may wonder where SIL was this weekend while we were babysitting. Well, she has a beagle who could die at any moment and besides she and her husband don't like kids so they said there was no way they were having DN at their house for even a moment.
Yes, I am a bit frustrated because we didn't get any romance time this weekend since every spare minute that DH had was spent at her house taking care of DN because MIL wanted him for the weekend but she wanted someone else to take care of him. We are planning to have a date tomorrow (which is my other day off for the week) since DH does feel bad about Valentine's Day being overtaken by babysitting duties.
This weekend has made me more determined to find employment for DH and I back near my family because if we do actually conceive, these people will be less than no help. My family, on the other hand, is one of those huge extended Southern families that has plenty of people who will be willing to help out. Sorry, I have just poured all of this out but I think this weekend has made me realize that my ILs are definitely the type that would be more enjoyable on short visits where we stay at a hotel and see them for a few hours a day for a couple of days before going back home to the relative sanity of being within daily visiting distance of my family.

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February 17th, 2009, 08:21 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,652
I guess I don't understand why you didn't just tell her no. You already had other plans and he was hers for the weekend, so I don't know why you had to come to her rescue. It won't be the last time, if she knows she can dump him on you whenever she wants.
*Natural Birthing, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, baby wearing momma to 2 amazing children, Micah (5-22-09) and Reagan (4-21-11)
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February 17th, 2009, 08:38 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,033
I guess I don't understand why you didn't just tell her no. You already had other plans and he was hers for the weekend, so I don't know why you had to come to her rescue. It won't be the last time, if she knows she can dump him on you whenever she wants.[/b]
DH brought DN with him when he told me on Thursday. I don't think it will be an issue again though. MIL told DN, BIL, SIL and DH yesterday after the toilet thing that she was NEVER going to let DN stay at her house again. The funny thing is that FIL wanted DN for the weekend and MIL told BIL that She Wanted DN for the weekend.

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February 17th, 2009, 11:30 AM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
Yikes! She sounds a bit like my MIL in the sense that she wants everyone to believe that she's supergrandma and wants to show off her grandchildren but ignores them 75% of the time that she actually has with them. Selfishness. Pure and simple. Just like my MIL, she can't conceive of the fact that she is not the most important person in the world to everyone and she certainly is most important to herself. My MIL just can't even seem to think in a pattern that would consider anyone else's needs or wants about her own and doesn't care how much of an inconvenience she is. She still thinks it's ok to take so long to get ready that it's after 7 by the time you get to a restaurant with a small child in tow and that it's then ok to wait until you've finished your meal (and you're the last one to do so because you've been gabbing on your cell the whole time) to then order a beer, with same said small child really sick of sitting there for almost 2 hours when it's past bedtime! Anyway....I'm sorry that she dumped DN on you when you finally got some time off and had plans. It's inexusible to act that way and as I said just selfish and inconsiderate. Don't feel bad about your rant! That's why we're here!

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