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Unreasonable Demands

Forum: Inlaws


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March 28th, 2009, 01:57 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,033
DH and I were having a great day, doing some browsing for baby clothes and just trying to enjoy every moment of this experience. Of course, while we were in JC Penney, the day had to be somewhat spoiled by a call from MIL to DH's cell phone. She asked what we were doing and when DH told her, she started talking about how my family could just move up from NC so we could raise the baby close to her and they could see the baby too.
I guess some of you know the background on DH's family but for anyone who doesn't, BIL has two sons (one who lives with him and one who lives with his ex gf). They live within 90 minutes of MIL and SIL as well as DH & I. SIL has not seen the younger child since Christmas Eve and has not seen the older one since the whole fiasco that was the winter break stay with MIL. MIL has not seen the younger child since mid January when she went with DH and I to see the kids and has not seen the older one since she declared that the winter break stay was his last at "Mamaw's House". DH and I went to see everyone last weekend although the younger one was not with BIL due to it not being his weekend.
MIL and SIL see me whenever they come into the store where I work but other than that, they don't see us more than once a month. DH talks to them maybe twice a month if that. They are both wanting us to stay in IN so they can see the baby when they want to see the baby (which would be maybe half an hour every 6-8 weeks).
Okay, now to my family. I have this big, close-knit Southern family that I adore and that I talk to every few days (immediate family I talk to every day). I have half a dozen cousins who are like brothers and sisters to me. When we were in NC last, we saw the aunts, uncles and cousins every other day if not every day. We were with my parents and some aunts every day.
MIL and SIL do not want to understand that if the baby gets sick or I get sick, I will have people in NC who will be there immediately to help me. I will be able to work rather than stay at home because my mother is retiring from her job at a child development center and has already stated that she would be overjoyed to take care of our little one. This will be her first grandchild so Mother is overjoyed.
I have to give kudos to DH because he has told MIL that she does not have a say in the matter of where we live and even if we weren't having the baby, we were still planning to move to NC. He is nice to his mom but he is not chapping his lips on her tush either.

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March 29th, 2009, 10:07 AM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
I wouldn't worry about it then. You already know what is best for your family. Your family sounds a lot like mine. we've got the flu here and my mom dropped everything Thur. evening to drive 4 hours to help me with the sick kids and sick DH. Now she's got it too and I feel so bad about that. But I can't even imagine life without her help. She makes sure whenever DH is gone overnight that she's here. That love is priceless so don't feel bad for one second about moving closer to your loving family. And since DH is on board, don't apologize either. Hugs!

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March 30th, 2009, 05:56 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
Sounds like how close my DH's family is with each other. If we lived near his mom we would see her maybe once a month whereas we see my family once a week at least and would be there if we needed anything. That's good your DH is on board and told his mom that. When my son was 8 months we moved back to be closer to my family and it has been great for them and the kids. It sounds like your family is very loving and close and that will mean so much to them and you and your little one, hugs to you!
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