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Am I Insane????

Forum: Inlaws


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July 30th, 2010, 04:47 PM
Jaxon04NTaylor08's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,254
Ive never posted here before but im really upset and need to know if im insane or not lol..

Ok so my fiance thinks that I am being hormonal but i think i have a legitimate reason to think this is weird...

Jordans mom (whom i have talked to maybe 3 times since ive been pregnant) went out and bought a crib and a rocking chair and is setting up a nursery at her house for the baby. She bought a baby bath and is buying whatever she see's on sale. She hasnt bought us anything. I understand being excited but usually when a grandparent is excited they buy things for the new parents, not for themselves. She called about my ultrasound today and was asking if it was to early to see if the baby looked like my other 2 kids (i think she was wanting to know if it looked like Jordan) she hasnt helped us out with anything. I told Jordan that most grandparents just by a playpen for their house. He said its not weird for a baby to spend the night at their grandparents. I said i do not let my kids sleep away from me when they are babies. They need to be at home and in their own beds with their mommy. Him and I just got into a huge blowout about all of this. He is even mad that the baby will see my mom a lot more then his mom because i go over to my moms when he is at work. I said well duh, its my mom and your mom doesnt even talk to me, why would i just go over there? I told him i would go with him once in a while and bring the baby but there is no reason why she can't come over here to see the baby. Does this all seem a little crazy to anyone else??? I really do understand being excited but i think this is overboard, especially when she hasnt given us or offered to buy us anything for the baby.

I forgot to mention that she also bought herself a carseat and is looking for a highchair!!!

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July 30th, 2010, 07:00 PM
BigGrin's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,684
Yeah..that's creepy and overstepping some major boundaries. My mother pulled a stunt like this when my brother had a coveted daughter. (girls are rare in my family) She bought a whole bunch of stuff for her own house and practically pried the kid out of her mother's arms to take her places.

I was a teenager at the time and my mother looks VERY young. People would compliment her on her "Daughter" while looking at my neice. My mother never corrected them and just said thank you. I thought it was really creepy.

I dropped a tear in the ocean, and whenever they find it Iíll stop loving you, only then. ~Unknown
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July 30th, 2010, 07:20 PM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sibe Momma
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kennewick WA
Posts: 1,231
Yes, that is very creepy and straight out wrong. You need to talk to her and tell her, You appreciate her excitement, as you are just as excited, but its not ok to buy all these things and act like it is your child.
My child will not be sleeping there. You are welcome to bring all the things you bought to MY house and we can use them for MY child. That way every time baby sleeps or is rocked it is in the comfort of the things you bought. But my child will be too young and I'm just not comfortable at all letting them sleep here, they wont even be sleeping at my parents. What you can buy is a play pen and lots of fun and exciting toys.

All my mom bought was a rocking chair for when I bring my son over. My MiL only buys him toys and clothes. That is just bizarre and creepy of your Mil. I'm sorry, but way too creepy. Did she try this with your other kids? Does she try to set everything up there for them like they are going to visit and never leave?

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August 4th, 2010, 04:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 2,511
My MIL was all set to do the same for her house AND SILs (SIL is essentially a modern spinster, not married, no intent to have kids because the process is "yucky") house, lol. We flat out told them it would be a waste of money, end of story. Little babies should not spend nights away from their parents and their own house unless there is a really good reason. Like, say, someone is ill, you need to go to a wedding/funeral, something of that nature.

Anyway it was like THEY were having a baby. Seriously, they even went shopping for baby clothes ENDLESSLY together. It was messed up.

When we told them not to bother putting nurseries in their houses, they were quite mad. MIL literally thought I was going to send my baby for weeks at a time to live with her or SIL and she had it in her head that we would all somehow share the baby since she was young and couldn't have more kids due to a hysterectomy and SIL wasn't going to have any due to the "yuck" factor. She never bothered asking about it and was heart broken and now hates me forever that I ruined her perfect (creepy) plans.

Thanks Ryan and Alex's mommy for the siggy!

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August 4th, 2010, 06:18 PM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sibe Momma
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kennewick WA
Posts: 1,231
LOL. I'm sorry this makes me laugh, at THEM not you. Lilmom, Jaxon,
Tell them to get over themselves. In a nice way though? And lilmon, if they want so much to have a baby around, but are unable to because of YUCK factor or a hysterectomy, perhaps they should adopt a kid. Or say, find a surrogate. Or get a puppy. Babies do not spend weeks or even days on end away from mommy and daddy and their own home unless its an emergency situation (or the parents are like oh we dont want baby this week...). How dare they be so crazy to think otherwise.

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August 4th, 2010, 09:18 PM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 10,571
Wow...She is deff "off her rocker".

You're totally justified in feeling the way you do.
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August 5th, 2010, 01:42 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NE MS
Posts: 9,524
sounds wierd to me....

My ils bought a pack and play and had a high chair and they might have used them 3 times...Thats how often they have watched him...ugh

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October 7th, 2010, 04:53 PM
laurabelle's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,476
ugh. my MIL has a carseat, swing and bassinet. the baby is never really over there and she is not allowed to drive him anywhere. i dont get it either.
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October 7th, 2010, 09:08 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
wow. glad to know i'm not the only one with a creepy mil. I, too, visit my mom with my kids when dh is at work. I do though go visit my in-laws without dh as well. We are actually not on speaking terms with my in-laws right now for all the reasons stated in previous posts and more. WAY overstepping boundries here and when we tried to lay down the law my mil said "I can't live under your conditions right now and won't be able to watch the baby anymore". She wanted my dd a couple days a week for us as does my mom...but my mom is totally respectful of US being the parents.

also, my mil would get comments about her (MY) son when she watched him and wouldn't correct people. Then she would brag about it to me. it finally came out recently about how much that hurt me because this was MY chance to be a mommy and essentially she was taking that away from me....she was pissed.
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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October 25th, 2010, 07:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,033
I would be totally freaked out. I told DH when I was pregnant and MIL wanted to know why I was opposed to her smoking in the room with Katie because "I did it with my kids and they turned out okay" that his mother was crazier than a billy goat on LSD and she was not going to be smoking around my baby. Wasn't as big a problem as I though since it turns out baby poop grosses her out but doing NC 17 rated things to her geriatric man friend does not.

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