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Pushy inlawas how do deal....

Forum: Inlaws


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July 26th, 2006, 08:59 AM
babysmith's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: california
Posts: 2,780
Here is an example of how pushy they can be sometimes...

Gavin and I were in a car accident back in March (everything is fine now), but anyhoot I had some freinds pick me up at the hospital to take me to sacramento to where my son was I was in another town due to his trama he needed to be in a childrens hospital and I told dh he needed to be with Gavin so he isn't as scared of being in the hospital and everything.. so we arrive at the hospital in sacramento at the same time, me and my inlaws, I was 22 weeks pregnant and super sore and could have used some help getting to gavins room but did they help no they took off running and left me to walk by myself to the room...

Then on the second day (keep in mind they were there all day the first day) my parents were coming in from oklahoma for support and everything, and gavin was more alert and moving around more, i told everyone in the waiting room since my family is coming I wanted to limit the people who go in there at a time cause I didn't want him to get excited and everything.. the first thing that came out of my MILs mouth was "well we were here first" I was like so... my mom was only there for a day my dad was there the whole time, and they basically kept pushing him out of my sons room, so he didn't get to go in there and see him as much...

Another time i walked into the room and my mil was holding him and I walked in and she looks at me and had the nerve to say what are you doing in here...

There are alot of hard feeling between me and my mil, we are trying to work on it, but its like she just wants to mother my child or take him from me at times..

We have established a line of communication though, but its still hard to have my child around her i would love to have a good relationship to where I dont have to worry about her undermining me all the time with my wishes for him... its like she cant take no for an answer, there have been times where I wouldn't let them see gavin cause they dont listen to my wishes, and I think they are trying its just hard for them cause they have had 5 kids and my dh is the baby of them all and we have the first grandchild that is close enough for them to see when ever they can..

Wow that sure was long sorry for the story ladies....but if you have anything you would like to add on how to go about it I would be more then happy for some, I have tried talking to them about it and everything, but she will throw it in my face that they have helped us out with alot of things, and I know they have and I am grateful but you still cant buy my kids off me...
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July 26th, 2006, 10:08 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
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Wow, sorry about the accident and glad you are alright now, both of you! But it took a lot of nerve for her to act like that and if that were me, I woulod have told her she spent enough time in the hospital with him and said it was your parents turn and you MIL could see your son after he got home. JMO and something I would have said.

What I do is just pick my battles. I get along with my MIL but if every time she says something that irritates me, I would be telling her where to go all the time. I used to and that was part of the reason we didn't get along in the past.
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July 26th, 2006, 11:52 AM
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That's terrible about the accident, I'm so glad you, Gavin, and baby are ok!!

I can't explain why MIL are so rude and think that they get "first dibs" on EVERYTHING: our children, our husbands, our parties, our homes, etc. But like Holly said, pick your battles. When it comes to my son, NOBODY will get in the way, that is one thing I will always fight for. But I try to let some of the other things slide off my back just to maintain peace. But don't let her run you over, that's just plain disrespect. Can DH talk to her?
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