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Forum: Inlaws


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August 20th, 2006, 03:39 PM
Jaxonsmommie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: *Michigan*
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OK well... I dont want to have a wedding. Dan will only be home for 2 weeks and i would rather we just sign the papers now and have a wedding later. But Dans mom is planning a wedding and ive said that i dont want a wedding now but she insists on one. She says this "You can't get married by a judge because Judge's are lawyers and God hates Lawyers" haha so she wants a pastor to do it. Dans at bootcamp so i can't really talk to him about it. What do i do? Should i just suck it up and have the little wedding now and then have my better one later? I don't want to hurt her feelings because she's so excited about us getting married, and it's not gunna kill me to walk down an aisle now lol. So what should I do?
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August 20th, 2006, 06:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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No you do your thing. But just my oppinion. Getting married by the judge seems so inpersonal or what is the word for it? Maybe I'm old fashioned. I wanted the words of God read in my marriage vows So we got married in a church. And to make my father happy we got married in front of the priest. But this is your wedding. Talk to your fiance if you can at some point. You do the wedding the way you want. Tell mil that you'd like something better later. That at some point you will consider having your marriage blessed by a preist or minister of some church. But for now you want it plain and simple. I could not of gotten married in front of the judge. My father would of hung me. He even went to the grave angry my sister J. got married in the court house. Without him and mom present. Just had their 2 witnesses. No wedding reception. Just a quiet dinner after their little 10 minute ceremony. Then a couple weeks later sent home some pics of them standing before the judge for their vows.
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August 20th, 2006, 11:19 PM
mrsracatoe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I did exactly what you are talking about for my first marriage. We went and got married in front of the Judge and then we were finished with it. I am not big on weddings because I always wanted something like that to be us only. For my second marriage we did basically the same thing. The judge still reads the vows just like a priest. I would definitely tell your mil to let you do it the way that you want. I am not trying to sound mean but it is your wedding not hers. DH and I are planning to renew our vows at our 10 year anniversary and then we want to have a ceremony. Maybe you two can do something like that. Maybe do it at 5 years or some other time that you arrange and agree on with SO. Thats my opinion though. Talk with your SO and ask him about how he feels and what he would like to do and explain to him about his mother. Another idea is to tell mil to get a priest to do a ceremony with just a few people that would be casual and quick. You can invite 5-10 people and she may settle for that instead of the huge ceremony. Those are just ideas though. I hope something works out! Good Luck with everything and Congratulations on your upcoming Marriage!!! Let us know what happens!

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August 22nd, 2006, 06:36 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: arlington, va
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DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!!! when dh and i got married i didnt want a wedding either right then. i wanted to just go to the courthouse and have a wedding later. i was 3 months pregnant and didnt want to get married when i felt like a big fat cow. mil wanted us to have a wedding. she pushed and pushed. i gave in because she pretty much gave us this guilt trip about being pregnant teenagers. she planned the wedding and it was not what i wanted if i were to have a wedding. my sil called and said what color of things do you want x or x? and i said what color i would want and they had already gotten the other color. sil called brad and said horrible things about me the night before our wedding. because i was trying to pick what color of tablecloth i wanted in a wedding i didnt even want to do in the first place. i just wanted to be with brad. i've regretted it ever since not standing up to her and telling her NO! becuase now she kind of thinks that she can get us to do anything. that we are always going to listen to her.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! do what you want. it is your wedding.

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August 22nd, 2006, 10:46 AM
Monkey9382's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Swartz Creek, Michigan
Posts: 611
Your wedding - your choice. [/b]


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August 25th, 2006, 09:24 AM
Bekah's Avatar happy 2 be a girl mommy!
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,842
It's your wedding -- so I say do whatever makes you happy. DF and I don't want a wedding right now either and I'm terriefied to tell the rents I want to get married now, and have the wedding later when I can afford it.

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