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why doesnt my df get it?

Forum: Inlaws


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March 3rd, 2008, 10:26 AM
lauradeeann's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: san juan bautista ca
Posts: 169
I am soo sick of my mil she is constantly borrowing money from us and my df always says yes "because she always helps us out" which is funny because shes helping us out with the money she owes us she borrowed 40 monday and she was supposed to pay us back friday which she didnt she never does and now today hes letting her borrow another 50 so its like why dont you just give her all of our money?! and shes supposed to pay us back tomorrow which aint going to happen he just gives in way too much i dont understand why she doesnt borrow money from her other kids? it makes me mad he text me telling my to give his mom 50 and she will pay us back tomorrow i said so now she owes us 90? hes all just do as i ask and then he tried to call i didnt answer he doesnt understand that he's being used! what about when we really needed help? she even said she would help us but never did but helped her daughter instead! he tells me to make sure his dad doesnt see that we "gave" her the money because then he will get mad i dont know what she does with her freaking money!! ugh i think im just sick of everyone its like we dont have any money as it is and she knows that he needs to start telling her NO!

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March 3rd, 2008, 12:41 PM
jillylicious's Avatar mom always liked you best
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 10,900
That sucks, hon. If you guys are a family then you should be entitled to making decisions about the money as well. I'm sorry your DH keeps getting played like that.

Is there a way you could say to your DH "Why don't we set your mom up with a payment plan or something so she can pay us back for the money we lent her?" and try to make it sound like you want to make things easier for her?
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March 3rd, 2008, 01:22 PM
lauradeeann's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: san juan bautista ca
Posts: 169
i wish we could like she will "borrow" money and act like she forgot she borrowed it i dont mind if she borrows it just as long as she pays us back like we lent her 60 bucks a while ago and like a month later she gives us 30 of it and then right now she has her daughter and her daughters boyfriend and their baby living with them hes working but my mil has to buy their baby things like the milk and diapers because her daughter is to cheap i mean they arent even helping them out with grocerys or anything so why should we give my mil money to feed them or take care of them? and we kinda got our car fixed my df tells me well she helped us out to get it fixed its like she should she drives the freaking car more then we do and to top it off the guy she got to fix it she didnt even know and he messed up the car more so we gave the guy over 300 for nothing because of her.
i just want to move far far away!

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March 4th, 2008, 09:11 AM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
I'm sorry that your DF keeps turning a blind eye to the fact that she's using you guys. I'm sure she always has a good story and he can't stand the thought of his mother being in need. That doesn't excuse it, but that would be a tough spot to be in. As children, it's hard to admit that our parent might need some tough love to learn some responsibility because it's supposed to be the other way around! I hope that he sees that he is being taken advantage of (or maybe he already knows it but doesn't want to admit it). Either way, she needs to pat back what she borrows. Do you keep a record of it? Maybe you need a ledger that she has to sign each time she borrows and have her make payments or a rule about how much she can owe you at once and not let her borrow any more until it's paid. I know your DH, and your MIL for sure, will probably resist it, but it sounds like it's time for some accountability. Hugs!

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