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March 10th, 2008, 11:14 AM
jillylicious's Avatar mom always liked you best
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 10,900
DH's birthday is on April 10. You would think that a wife would be involved in planning her husband's birthday... but no, she is not. (Which likely explains a lot of she ended up here, posting on the ILs board, heh heh.)

Last year I went all out - planned a big dinner party for my DH - only to find out that MIL and SIL had gone ahead and done the same thing. Anyone care to guess whose plans were cancelled and put aside? Why, that's right, mine. So, I said I was never going to waste my time doing anything for his birthday again, since it was obvious that my suggestions and ideas were totally ignored (if they were ever even considered in the first place.) Furthermore, this year on Apr 10 I'll be lucky to not be in the hospital delivering a baby (I'll be 37.5 wks by that point.) BUT, I would still like to make it clear to my ILs that he is still my husband, and the father of this baby, and there's no reason, logically, why I can't be a part of planning his birthday. I sent the following email to MIL and SIL:

"I am not sure what you guys have planned for DH's birthday, but I just thought I better give you a heads up. DH is entered in a 2 day roping jackpot in Fort Macleod on April 12 & 13 (the weekend just after his birthday), so, if you were thinking of doing something that weekend it might be a good idea to either bump it back or bump it forward. I think he has to be in Fort Macleod by 8am on the Saturday so it will be a very busy weekend!

Anyways I'm not sure what you have in mind when I found out he entered I thought I'd save you guys a little legwork! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help, I would be happy to.

Have a great day,


Now, that wasn't rude, it wasn't unpleasant, but I think it made clear that I felt very pushed out of doing anything for my husband last year on his birthday and I'd like to be included this year. I was fairly subtle, but I think anyone with more than cotton batting between their ears should be able to figure it out. Which is why I couldn't do anything but sigh when I got this response back from MIL:

"Thanks for the heads-up Jillylicious. I haven't talked with SIL about this but as I look at the calendar we could bump it up to the 19th and celebrate both DH's and BIL's birthday together. What do you think? See if SIL responds as well."

Ah, yes, you're only too happy to take things over, aren't ya? I just told her whatever she planned was fine with me, and that hopefully I wouldn't be in LABOR on April 19th. She is a stunned bunny, honestly. And sure, fine, let's turn it into a party for BIL. After all, he's only your son in law, not your biological son.

Speaking of BILs... one of mine got engaged to his bizarre girlfriend this weekend. It's no surprise, they're the most overly affectionate and ooky squicky couple ever. MIL called to tell us after we got home from our anniversary trip (oh yeah, it's my anniversary today!) and said "It sounds like they're going to have a baby right away! I sure hope they do, I am so excited!" which, compared to her lukewarm at best response to my pregnancy and baby, had me rolling my eyes so hard it HURT.

Grrr. She is such a self absorbed twit... I wish she'd just THINK for five bloody seconds before she opens that big flapping mouth!

PS: I think I'm going to plan a birthday dinner for DH, and just not invite any of my ILs. Heh heh.

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March 10th, 2008, 12:54 PM
Jax's Avatar
Jax Jax is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pekin, Il
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oh oh oh! if you do, be sure to talk ALL ABOUT IT the next time you get together. = )

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March 10th, 2008, 02:23 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
Geez, they are a piece of work. You totally should plan something and not invite them. That was a really nice email you sent them, I wouldn't have been so nice. In fact, I don't think I would have told them that he was going away, I would have let them make plans and then said sorry, he can't come, you didn't consult us!

BTW - Happy Anniversery!!!!

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