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just a vent... ugh

Forum: Inlaws


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March 12th, 2008, 03:39 AM
Every1LuvzAngie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Detroit MI/Indianapolis IN
Posts: 1,713
My b/f's mom and him don't see each other often...they talk via email and on the phone....obviously when I'm not around because I never see or hear him call her...which is strange..yes.
So I'm 29 weeks and my mom lives in another state, my mother is paying for my whole baby shower on her own, buying me a bassinet, diapers, clothes, rocking chair, anything I need basically...his mother hasn't offered to buy us anything...why should my mom have to do everything? This is this woman's first grandchild, by her ONLY son...you figure since she's so ###### nosey(yes I've snuck and read their emails....Imma hypocrite, yes, but I wanna know *** their talkin about...)and all up in my business she would offer to buy us something or see if we needed anything...
Then his father was like "Oh ur having the baby shower in Michigan?" all sad like...uh yeh buddy I am...MY MOTHER is throwing it for me and my family...MY MOTHER is paying for everything...no one in his family has offered to help us with CRAP! And then they have the nerve to get all sad like "why aren't u having it here?" uhm cuz I'm not making my whole family and all my friends drive down to Indiana for something my mom is throwing...if they want a baby shower here maybe just maybe they should throw me one?? gee that sounds like a good idea...
I'm just sick of this #####...I'm sick of my mom bending over backwards for me and these ppl not even asking if we need anything...it makes me sick, I know if I had a son, esp my ONLY son, and my first grandchild I would be all about helping him out with anything he may need or want for the LO...and of course throwing the mother a shower...I'm not so mad about them not throwing me a shower as I am about them ######ing about it being in my home town....seriously f off...
So then our lease is up in July...I'm due in May...so do the math...basically we're gonna have an infant on our hands and decisions to make...my mom offered to let us stay at her house til we can save up enough money to get a townhouse or something bigger than what we have now...which is great cuz she isn't gonna make us pay rent or anything so all the money we bring in will be savings...
So then I see in the email I was reading (sue me) that my b/f's mom doesn't think its a good idea to move to MI...and we should stay here...why??? I've lived her for a year almost and have seen this woman 1 time...1 time...my mom and I are so close, and it kills me to be away from her during pregnancy let alone when my LO comes...his mom don't see him...she don't offer to do anything for the baby, why is she acting like once the baby comes she's gonna be all involved...? She wrote "no pressure son but I feel staying here is best..." how the hell do u know whats best? I think whats best is my mom letting me stay there and save up, and not feeling so much pressure when I have a newborn to worry about...when my mom is already so involved...godddd I wanna strangle that woman...
So I explained how I have only seen her once in a whole year....well she has the nerve to tell us, not ask us, to name the baby after her!!!! I don't even know that woman like that #1
#2 uhm yeh I don't think so lady....
she better get a reality check...ASAP!
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March 12th, 2008, 08:46 AM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
Hi Angie! I'm sorry that your MIL is causing problems. My MIL always whines about how close my mom is to our son but she never does anything to try to change her relationship with him. My parents do everything. True they live closer (thank goodness) and can come visit every couple weeks, but she could talk to him on the phone which my mom does almost every day, she could mail gifts or cards, but instead all she does is whine. I just don't feel bad anymore. She's going to be how she is and there's no sense in me dwelling on what she's doing wrong (he's her only grandchild too while my mom has 3). I just focus on what a good grandma my mom is and I'm thrilled that they have such a close relationship. It sounds like that's the kind of grandma your mom will be. I think it's ridiculous for his family to complain about where the baby shower is. You mom is giving it so it's her choice. When I was pg DH's family didn't give me a shower either. They have bought very few things for him where as my mom buys almost all his clothing (she's obsessed so I don't see the point in trying to convince her to stop) and she buys all of his diapers (just because she's a great mom!) They do nothing. I would totally go live with your mom if that's what's best for you and your child. Your child is what is most important now not your MIL and if she can't see that then tough nails. You do what you've got to do. I know some of what you are feeling and I'm so lucky that my ILs are going to be here tonight for a visit!

Hugs! I'm originally from MI too and now we live in IN.

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March 13th, 2008, 10:58 AM
Coffee_Bean's Avatar Cuz I got it like that!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,392
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Holy crap! You MIL and my MIL should have tea one day. They are SOOOOOOOOOOO alike!!! I like the fact that your Mom is offering the house for you guys!! That will help out so much, Angie!!! Such a money-saver.

As for your MIL saying 'whats best' only two people know whats best for them....YOU AND YOUR SO!

My MIL tries to control DF and 'offers' her opinion(like I give a horses patooty!) and I will just look at her like she has lost her freaking mind! <~~~~Yeah thats me!

My mom and sisters threw me a shower as well. They paid for it all. My MIL and SIL were invited along with other people in DF's family, and then MIL had the freaking nerve to vent to DF afterwards that I didnt pay ANY attention to her at MY shower. She felt 'shunned'!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE felt shunned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <~~~~Thats me again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had family come from ALL over Texas AND Mexico that I havent seen in months and SHE felt shunned?!?!?!!?!? SHE LIVES 2 BLOCKS DOWN AND HAS BEEN TO MY HOUSE ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN WE MOVED IN AUGUST!!!!!!!!!!! *insert evil laughter here* Evil hypocrite!

Do whats best for you guys! For the three of you!

BTW: What does your SO say about all this?? About moving?? And everything else?

Patiently TTC#2

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March 13th, 2008, 10:19 PM
Every1LuvzAngie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Detroit MI/Indianapolis IN
Posts: 1,713
he doesn't mind moving so we can save up...but I mentioned to him about his family not contributing and he seems to brush it off like well I don't really see my mom that much....so like he don't wanna ask her for anything or something...I dunno he's strange about his family...I feel almost bad for bringing things up...and I know I shouldn't
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