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New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"

Forum: Widely Spaced Siblings


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January 13th, 2013, 02:07 AM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 240
Hi there, New here!
I am 33, I have 2 girls aged 10 and 12.
Now pg with #3 (boy due july 15th)<-planned

Yes, I have had people approach me who have heard that I am pg and actually say "Oh, is it good or bad news?"
I reply "Oh yes this was planned"

I can understand peoples curiosity...but where did peoples manners disappear to? "Was it planned"
What difference does it make, would they send commiserations if so?

My story is, I always wanted another child but dh and I were not in a position to, both with work etc. Finally 10 years later, we were good to go

My 12 year old dd is happy but my 10 year old dd isnt impressed with sibling rivalry already.
I have tried to involve her in everything, shes getting there but still semi resistant

I need to read some books on this "how to settle in" period with them

anyway nice to meet you xxx
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January 13th, 2013, 02:56 AM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 52
Try looking into "birth order" too. Your 10 year old is the baby, and now she will be the middle child. Understanding birth order is a big deal. You can tell a lot about a person from where they fall in the family's pecking order.
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January 15th, 2013, 10:57 AM
cheerfulsunrise's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 717
we are in a similiar situation: ds is 14, dd is 12, and new baby is due in June! I also wanted a baby for a long time, but had to wait for a "better" time. Just about everyone we have told has asked us if it was planned. We are all pretty excited !
DS: '98, DD: '00, DD: '13, & TTC #4

My Ovulation Chart
|| Ovulation Chart

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March 26th, 2013, 01:03 PM
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Northern Canada
Posts: 46
I'm scared of this happening to us! I've never been quiet in my desire to have a large family (if you call 4 large) but our families are the type to never really be happy when a new child is announced...
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May 21st, 2013, 12:51 PM
sandel07's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 407
I have been asked this by friends and strangers. My sons are 12 and 14 and my daughter is 8 weeks. They seem a bit embarrassed when I say she was planned, but a surpise after 6 miscarriages.
Sandy-43 years young
BF-Ryan 38

Sons Noah 14 & Drew 16
Miracle baby Ella arrived Mar 22, 2013

7 losses at 4 to 7 weeks (feb 05, July 10, Oct 10, April 11, Oct 11 Feb 2012, Jan 2015)
No explanation for losses

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August 11th, 2013, 05:57 PM
Spider123's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 374
My littlest was very much planned. After sticking a thermometer in my mouth at 6 AM every morning for two years, facing the possibility of liquidating my life savings for procedures that might not even have worked, and then trying "one last time" after essentially giving up my dream of having another child, it definitely puts me on the defensive when people assume that he is the result of laziness, ignorance, and promiscuity and scold me for "forgetting" to use birth control.

My ex-baby was 16 when ds was conceived but he had the same issues your 10 year old is dealing with. Being the youngest in the family was part of his identity. He was also overly concerned about my health during the pregnancy.

Once ds was born, things changed; he adores his little brother and my only worry is that he sometimes tries to take on too much of a parental role and needs to be reminded that he has the rest of his life to be a daddy to as many children as he can take care of, but he only has this one chance to be a big brother.
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October 9th, 2013, 09:47 AM
ryleighmom's Avatar Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Round Rock, TX
Posts: 13
I got this question all the time while I was pregnant with my son. My daughter was 15 when he was born. I really thought it was rude when someone phrased it as "was this pregnancy a mistake?" People are so rude!
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November 2nd, 2013, 09:15 PM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,249
New here. I'm glad I haven't gotten that question (yet). The closest was 'are you excited'. I think a lot of people just don't think before they speak sometimes.

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January 25th, 2014, 05:30 AM
amberbanegas's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Fahad Al Ahmad, Kuwait
Posts: 1,397
I have NEVER been asked that… I think I would give them a crazy look…

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September 14th, 2014, 10:46 AM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Posts: 82
Send a message via Yahoo to Sweetpgrl8
I am pretty sure it will happen to us if we decide to go ahead and have another. I was dead set against any more kids after my ex and I split up, and basically told everyone (quite adamantly) there will be no more children in the future. Now being married to someone else I am open to the possibility. I have two kids who are now 8 and 6. It will be interesting if it happens and when we announce to family and friends. I still think it's rude for others to ask "was it planned". Nobody's business but our own.
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March 20th, 2015, 08:34 PM
Libby22's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Palmerston north, New Zealand
Posts: 9,170
all my kids were
AF 15 Nov 2017 Nz time praying for a rainbow heathy baby <3 All I want for Christmas is a BFP!!

My Ovulation Chart

missed m/c 28 march 2010- Toni 11 weeks CP 11 march 2015- Katie 4 weeks 10 May 2015 Lilly- 4 weeks CP blighted ovum 2017
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