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Forum: Widely Spaced Siblings


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February 26th, 2008, 09:06 PM
Mitra Shonu's Avatar ~Seeking the Way~
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 4,254
I'm new to JM.

I have 4 kids ranging in age from 18 to three months. The other two are 11 and 4. Anyway, my 18 year old was preparing to go off to college when we found out about our newest surprise. (we weren't ttc) I had a hard time with letting go of my first baby, and then I had to adjust to the idea of starting over again when we thought we were done. Don't get me wrong, I love my new little guy to pieces, but it has been an emotional roller coaster. I was wondering if there were any other moms with a similar situation and what you have done to help level out the mixed emotions. Thanks.

A very special THANK YOU to Bokkechick for my gorgeous new siggy!

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February 27th, 2008, 07:30 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: TEXAS, yall
Posts: 1,037
Hi. I'm Becky. i haven't been around much, but I do a lot of lurking...mostly cause I just don't have time to respond. Anyhow, I understand where you are coming from. I have 18, 17, 14 yr olds and a 1 1/2 yr old. My oldest is a graduates in 4 months. While we love Jeffrie to pieces, and truely believe he is a gift from God, it has not been easy. We, like you, were not ttc. We, like you, were set in our ways. We, like you, thought we were done, and were fixin to be crying 'empty nest syndrome.' Let me just say, that your baby is only 3 months old. It took, for my family, that whole first year to fully truely appreciate our newest member. I think with time, you will adjust and then realize that your life was nothing before your newest memeber. That is how I feel. I feel kinda like he was given to us to keep us young and moving. Besides, my hubby needed someone to go fishing with when the other boys leave! It will get better, I promise!
19 yr ANNIVERSARY at Port O'Connor, TX. We went fishing for 3 days offshore. We are here at sunset, and very sunburned!
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February 27th, 2008, 12:12 PM
Mitra Shonu's Avatar ~Seeking the Way~
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 4,254
Thanks Becky.

It really helps to know that I'm not the only one. It's funny that you mentioned fishing for your husband and little one. My husband has decided to buy a new boat in the next couple of years to take the kids fishing. He's from D.C. and grew up fishing for large mouth bass. We live in New Mexico where there's not nearly as many watering holes, but he wants to do more than stand on a shallow shoreline. Personally, I don't fish, don't want to learn how to fish, and don't care to be there when fishing is going on, but I like that it will get him out of the house and spending some quality time with the kids. Hopefully all this will happen before our next one goes off to college in six years.

Just curious-- during your last pregnancy--did you have any guilt feelings? Like, since you weren't expecting this one, you weren't enjoying it like you're "supposed to", or that you would have a really hard time bonding with this one, and what if the baby could feel these feelings from you in utero? So far, I haven't seen any negetive effects of thinking like that, (he's a really good baby--hardly cries, smiles a lot, sleeps well) but I don't want to spend the first few years looking for things in his behavior or personality that will make me think that "if only I hadn't felt that way" it would be different.

Thanks for your help.

A very special THANK YOU to Bokkechick for my gorgeous new siggy!

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March 28th, 2008, 01:20 PM
Posts: n/a
Hi! I am not quite in that situation my oldest is going to be a teenager in October lol and I wil have a toddler by then. But my son goes away to sleep away camp for 7 weeks every summer (this is going to be his 3rd summer). So he wasn't here when my daughter was born in July. It was really hard doing all this without him being here and I really felt he was being left out of things but he doesn't mind. At his age he is more interested in girls and his friends than mommy and the new baby which drives me nuts but I am ok with it now too.. to a point.
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March 28th, 2008, 01:46 PM
BestWishes05's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Idaho
Posts: 103
Hello Ladies
I have 4 children; 18 years old (almost 19), 16, 14 and 14 months old. My son left for college last year. So I also had one going off to college and a newborn. Although our baby was planned it has been difficult at times. I am so grateful for our youngest but it was much easier raising the kids all close to the same age because they had the same interests KWIM? I agree with the above posts, good thing for my husband he will have a friend to do things outdoors with like fishing ;o)
Tami and Harry
Bradley, Julia, Amanda and Talan
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March 31st, 2008, 10:34 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Southern Indiana
Posts: 8,477
No experience there, but I wanted to say welcome!
Mom to Issac (8/22/99), Carly (8/10/06), and Zack (2/7/11)
Surromom/Aunt to Luke (1/21/09)

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