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How do you deal with death?

Forum: Atheist and Agnostic Parenting


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November 18th, 2010, 07:48 AM
MaggieLizer's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Loo-uh-vull, KY
Posts: 5,655
I haven't posted here before. I consider myself to be an agnostic (leaning atheist) and I attend a Unitarian Universalist church. I just felt like this might be a safe place to post this.

The recent passing of baby Kaiya from the June 2010 playroom has myself and many others quite shaken and saddened. When I read peoples condolences about it and how she is in heaven, she is an angel, and she is with God now I so want to believe that is true. She was such a beautiful precious baby and I wish her family peace and healing.

But I don't know what I believe about God or an afterlife. I don't have that comfort of knowing that when someone dies they are in a better place because reason tells me that's not true. But I find myself wanting that comfort. I haven't lost many people close to me except my grandparents and I really struggle with thoughts about my own mortality especially now that I am a parent.

So I guess my question is basically how do you deal with death (emotionally, spiritually, intellectually) if you believe there is no God or aren't sure?
Michele - wife to Jason and mommy to Vincent (7/12/10) and Maggie (4/16/14)

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November 18th, 2010, 02:57 PM
Zanahoria's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Jackson, MS
Posts: 4,418
It's not easy to cope with a sudden death without a belief in something coming afterward, I won't lie. That's one area where I'd say that atheists are at a disadvantage because of their non-belief. There's another thread here where people have recently shared some of their thoughts on death here: http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f2...ow-do-you.html

If it came to losing one of my children, (the thought alone is enough to give me a panic attack) I'd hang on for the sake of the other child, but if something happened to both, I don't think I'd want to live anymore. Maybe I'd find the strength somehow, but honestly I just don't know how I'd deal with that sort of loss. I try not to think about it, it makes me physically ill to do so.

Most of the people who were close to me that I've lost (grandparents, great-grandparents, an aunt) were all suffering somehow (strokes, cancer, etc) so I was relieved when they died because I knew they weren't in pain anymore. I haven't lost anyone to a sudden, senseless act so I don't know how I'd feel about that. I often would like to ask my mother about that, she's an atheist who lost her mother and stepfather when I was two, thanks to a drunk driver, but I don't want to make her dredge up painful memories by talking about the accident either. She, like me, prefers to remember the good times spent with the person while they were still alive instead of dwelling on their death.
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November 24th, 2010, 04:26 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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Ditto to Chris, except I did lose someone suddenly but I was a Christian at the time.
Feel free to vent anytime. HUGS!

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