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Forum: Atheist and Agnostic Parenting


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January 1st, 2011, 02:58 PM
BusyMom4's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 217
Hello everyone! Im new to this board (obviously) but I have been peeking my nose in for quite some time now. I have no religious beliefs what so ever, but DH was raised mormon, and his entire family is strict mormon. He is not so much, but he still does believe in god and all that what ever. I do not. Needless to say, this subject is an agree to disagree one among us! My family is not religious but they all seem appalled that I do not believe in god, the afterlife and such. I am not open about this at all. I am afraid of what others will think of me. I live in Utah which is mormon-ville USA. DHs family has no idea how I feel and I think they would probably disown me if they knew LOL.

I am wondering of you all are open about it or if you hide it from others. Only my close family members and a few close friends know how I feel. If you are open, how do others treat you when they find out?

Big thanks to KimberlyD0 for my amazing siggy
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January 1st, 2011, 05:37 PM
Zanahoria's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Jackson, MS
Posts: 4,418
Though I haven't talked about it with any of my family beyond my parents (they're both agnostic, but definitely don't believe in any religion's idea of deities) they can all see on my facebook info that I'm atheist and no one has ever said anything to me about it. My grandma is religious, but she's also the most open and accepting person I know, and if she were to ask me, I would be honest with her. I'm honest with all my friends, many of whom are very devout Christians (I live in the most religious state in the nation, Mississippi, ick.) A few have mysteriously unfriended me without a word and my attitude is that it's THEIR loss if they want to lose a friend over religious beliefs, but most just don't bring it up. The only people I hide my atheism from is my in-laws. I don't think they'd really have much of a hissy over it, they're pretty open people and we're pretty sure they know my husband is an atheist anyway even though they've never really talked about it, but the topic has never come up and I'm certainly not going to be the one to start that conversation. I don't think they'd disown me or my husband or anything (we recently found out his brother is atheist too, so that makes two out of three kids in that family that rejected religion) and I don't really care if they know outright, but DH wants to remain closeted to his parents so I hide my atheism from them as well since they'd probably figure out that if he wasn't an atheist himself, he likely wouldn't have married one.

Anyone else can know though, and it's their choice whether to be an a-hole about it or not. Like I said, it's their loss.
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January 1st, 2011, 07:31 PM
Jenna's Avatar AWESOME!!!
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,718
See "Atheist Facebook Musings". I'm very open about my lack of belief. For the most part, people don't seem to care.
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January 2nd, 2011, 12:13 AM
MommaJones's Avatar Host of Surrogate Mommies
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I think like most people, I am half open, half closet. For many years I was very big into Pagan/Wiccan just because I felt those were more than Christianity. But as of 2010, I am full blown atheist. I am open with all of my close friends, most of my family. My best friend is a pure Christian woman, but unlike some, she doesn't see why that should stop us from being friends. I am very open minded, most around here are not. Small town---gotta love it! So I have slowly tested the waters with people at work and such. By now you would think they would get that I am an atheist, but some people around here aren't the smartest. So not sure how they see me.
Mommy to Damon TS to Kyle 10/07 GS for E and R--WE ARE PREGNANT!!
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January 2nd, 2011, 11:17 AM
hippygypsy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 761
Hey there. I haven't posted in here at all, so hello. Anyway, I do not share with my family because they are very religious and I wouldn't hear the end of it. Dh's family knows we don't subscribe to any religion. I think my family *may* know but turn a blind eye. I don't display it and force it down anyone's throat and they return the favor. Its just...awkward.
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January 3rd, 2011, 11:01 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I'm very open about it but at the same time I don't thrust it in everyone's face unless I have religion being hoisted upon me then things get messy.

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January 3rd, 2011, 12:03 PM
BusyMom4's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 217
I must admit that I do keep it to myself for the most part, but it does bother me that it is accepted and encouraged to be open about being religious, but frowned upon (put nicely) to be a non-believer!! At least where I live!

Big thanks to KimberlyD0 for my amazing siggy
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January 3rd, 2011, 08:05 PM
Carmela's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Alabama
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I am both as well. Most people that really know me know, but there are a few that don't. My mom's parents being the biggest in the don't know group. My mom is terrified if they find out we will never hear the end of it. Grandma is a little dramatic about stuff, so she is probably right.

If asked I will not lie about my beliefs, I did that once when I was first giving up my faith and have felt bad about it ever since, but like most of the rest of you I don't try to shove how I believe into other people's faces unless they do it first. DH on the other hand is more on the shoving, particularly where facebook is concerned. LOL I also live in the south, and I do worry at work if clients found out many would refuse to see me for that reason alone, but all my co-workers know.

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January 4th, 2011, 10:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,062
Yes and no. It is a known fact within my immediate, extended family. Though my parents have no issues with it, the extended part of my family is not at all happy about it. They pretty much blame my husband for his "bad influence" on me. On one hand it is comical, on the other I am furious they think I am so easily influenced and feeble minded. But for my only living grandparent, well, I have promised my mother that I will accept, graciously, all religious trinkets and books, since we are not sure how long grandma will be around. I have agreed to do this since grandma isn't able to travel and will never know that I do not have those items.
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January 4th, 2011, 01:37 PM
Squirrely's Avatar Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Indiana
Posts: 44
I'm very open. I wasn't in the past because I was too afraid of what others would think of me, but I don't care anymore. If people want to believe they're superior in their ignorance, so be it. I think becoming a mom really gave me the push I needed to stand proud. I will not allow my daughter to be brainwashed by anyone, and my husband and I want her to see that there is nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide in being atheist/agnostic.

Most people know that my husband and I are non-believers. My family definitely knows, and maybe half of my in-laws do. It doesn't come up much with them, and I see no point in initiating a conversation about it. If religion does come up, then I will have no problems sharing my feelings on the matter.

Our circle of friends consists mostly lapsed xtians and Catholics. Some believe, some don't, but none of them are militant. We don't discuss it a whole lot, and no one judges anyone else about it.

"You can spoil a child with presents, not presence." --unknown
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January 4th, 2011, 03:01 PM
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Both. Around in-laws, I avoid the subject 100%. I won't lie if I am asked, but I'm not ready to get to that point with anyone from my husband's family. All of my family and friends know though.

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January 5th, 2011, 01:35 PM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: By a Cornfield, Nebraska
Posts: 26,495
im pretty open about it...i think the only people who dont really know are my inlaws and dh's grandparents (dont wanna give his grandparents a heart attack or anything!) but i think his parents probably suspect LOL...and his brothers know...as probably anyone else in his family that has a facebook account haha...cause its plainly written on there that im an atheist lol

Kristy, wife to Karl 6.16.01, Mom to Raianna 12.7.00, Elyse 12.3.02 and Helena 7.20.07, step-mom to Frankie 7.3.97 and step-grandma to October 3.9.15

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January 5th, 2011, 01:54 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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I'm also hidden at the gym... I work out at the YMCA and mostly all of the women in the classes I take are pretty religious. I don't pretend to be, but I don't talk about it with them at all.

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January 7th, 2011, 10:22 PM
tiredmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
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I don't hide, but also don't talk about it much. I'm pretty sure every friend and close family member knows, but for the most part they think the same as I do.
Iím Sarah (39), wife to Chris (40), mom to three boys (age 0, 3 and 5)
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January 15th, 2011, 11:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,300
I'm a minister's daughter and my husband was raised so strictly in his religion that their church required kids to go to boarding school from 6-12th grade.

Our families know we don't go to church, but I think they are all waiting for us to change our minds. We are pretty much "in the closet" in order to keep peace among family. I also work in a job where future promotions and assignments could be affected if people knew I wasn't christian. Sad, but true. I don't pretend to be Christian, I just avoid the topic.
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