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Religious people and pregnancy loss

Forum: Atheist and Agnostic Parenting


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  • 3 Post By Rinchan
  • 2 Post By Maggie1975
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December 7th, 2011, 09:32 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 444
I just need to rant.

After losing my baby at 9 weeks back in September, I have come to find that religious people often say the most insensitive things regarding the loss.

These are some wonderful quotes from them.

"God has a different plan for you."

My response: And killing my baby was part of it? Why can't I have my baby and do whatever plan he has in store for me?

"God doesn't give you anything that you can't handle."

Response: Why would God give me a miscarriage simply because I can handle it? Does he beat down strong people regularly just to see how much they can take?

"It wasn't meant to be."

Response: Thank you for minimizing my loss.

"You're baby is in heaven with God now."

Response: What a selfish dick. Apparently he has billions of people up there with him already.

"God must not what you to be a parent."

Response: And why does God have a say in what I want or do? Sorry but it's my choice when I want to be a parent, not God's. Any why would he want that woman who killed all five of her kids to be a parent over me?

"Children are a gift from God."

Response: Yes thanks for saying this only weeks after I had an m/c. You really know how to make a grieving person feel better.

"It's all part of his plan."

Response: Killing my baby was part of his plan? What kind of a sick ******* is this? Why is it that when he goes around and slays random people it's ok?

Ok really had to get that off my chest. I've about had it with a family member. Can you imagine saying any of that to someone who lost a 1, 3, 5, 6, 8, 10 year old?

If someone punched a pregnant woman in the stomach and caused her to miscarry, everyone would call that person a monster. But people are ok with God causing a miscarriage? ***?
tinx, zaney and trollsb like this.
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December 11th, 2011, 12:38 PM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: By a Cornfield, Nebraska
Posts: 26,495
ohh i hear ya on ALL of that!!! some times i want to scream those same things at people!!

Kristy, wife to Karl 6.16.01, Mom to Raianna 12.7.00, Elyse 12.3.02 and Helena 7.20.07, step-mom to Frankie 7.3.97 and step-grandma to October 3.9.15

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December 15th, 2011, 03:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,062
Originally Posted by Rinchan View Post

"God has a different plan for you."

And was that to sacrifice my child for his glee?

"God doesn't give you anything that you can't handle."

So he pushes sadistic crap on me just for fun?

"It wasn't meant to be."

So it was his plan for me to get pregnant, happy, and then yank it away? Cruelty at it's best(worst)

"You're baby is in heaven with God now."
He stole my baby?

"God must not what you to be a parent."
Why is it his decision...why did he give me the tools to become one.

"Children are a gift from God."
And those gifts he sometimes gives to druggies, criminals, pedophiles, and other examples of the worst people in the world

"It's all part of his plan."
He seems to be a really crappy planner
The bold is from me!
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December 15th, 2011, 06:23 PM
JustLiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,140
Sorry you are going through this.

Maggie you made me laugh out loud.

Unfortunately the insensitive words are not limited to religious folks.

Sending you

Thank you Vicki!

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December 19th, 2011, 01:48 PM
Mama.Angie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 14,431
I am so sorry for your loss... I can't say how I would react in that situation if it were me... but at the moment, I would like to think it wouldn't be very nicely. It just doesn't seem very thought out to me. Ugh.

Thank you claire1979 for my cute new siggy!
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January 19th, 2012, 05:47 AM
Story's Avatar French Canadian
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Montréal
Posts: 2,693
Some of your replies made me laugh out loud because you are so right, what they say just doesn't make sense. "it's part of his plan".. nice, making me pregnant and happy and then taking away my baby is his plan?... why making me pregnant in the first place!" ... Their God is a freaking ******

Mom to Maèva (11), Nadjat (9) and Klaus (5)

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May 15th, 2012, 03:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,029
LMAO...I needed to read this today..LOL...thanks girls

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July 14th, 2012, 05:40 PM
bellasky's Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,399
I know this was an old post, and I am actually a practicing Catholic, but I wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I know too well the insensitive things said to those of us who have had losses. It is a difficult situation and nothing said can make it any better and it's best if people just don't say anything. Again, I am sorry for your loss.
My Angels: 1/6 @ 5W5D 6/17 @ 4W5D

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August 22nd, 2012, 08:41 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,613
This post about sums up where I am right now.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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