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Being placed in weird spot by a religious Foster Mom


Forum: Atheist and Agnostic Parenting

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July 1st, 2018, 01:22 PM
shackles2garlands's Avatar Newbie
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 1
So, I joined a parenting board just so I can ask others opinions about a weird situation I found myself in. After reading other message boards, I feel the most comfortable asking here.

Recenlty we moved from the West side of Cincinnati, OH to the East side. The West side is known to be more poor, while the East more wealthy. Since moving, I have already had several parents in my daughter's new school remark I "don't look like you're from around here." This is verbatim, btw.


This does not really bother me. Most of the women around here are the sort to wear active wear everywhere and drink a lot of wine, so I do not feel I am missing out.


Well, during a Mother's Day event at my daughter's school, I had the opportunity to meet a boy my daughter has just gone on and on about. My daughter and the boy are both 6. I thought he was the sweetest thing and asked his mom if I could her my info to arrange some playtime. She was thrilled with the idea and really came off as down-to-earth. Honestly, this was the first parent I have come across since moving here who struck me as genuine.


Not long after the little boy, *Adam, came over for some playtime. He was great, except he seemed lost of a few things, like taking off underwear before putting swim trunks on or surprised how much food we had in our house.


I felt comfortable enough to ask his mom on this, to find out she was fostering him and his brother. Adam and his brother had actually not seen either of their parents in a long time.


I was totally on board with this, as my brother has fostered three siblings before. They were later adopted by their grandmother and are still in contact. So, I knew how dicey situations like this can get and offered to help however I could.


Well. My offer to help was taken up with more enthusiasm than I imagined. She is constantly asking if Adam can come over. I always agree because he is such a sweet boy, and I get the feeling she but off more than she can chew. She keeps his little brother, or rather her husband watched him, while she does a bunch of women-centric social functions, both Secular and non-Secular. I know this as we are friends on Facebook and she is constantly posting updates. She also praises herself a lot, however that is beside the point.


I know she taking advantage of me, however I feel stuck now. Adam loves it out house. He has gone so far to tell my daughter he loves her. He really is a sweet little boy. I discovered via him later he is originally from a very poor and notorious part of Cincinnati. As in, people get shot there all the time.


I think I would be a little more okay with things if she would stop constantly adding my email to lists and asking me to go to her church. I have politely told her over and over and over church is not for us, however thank you for thinking of us. She belongs to this bizarre non-denominational Crossroads church, where they have restaurants and cafes or something.


I am an Agnostic now, however I was baptized Catholic and raised in a Jewish household. Yes, it was crazy as it sounds. My dad was Catholic and my mom is Jewish. She agreed to the Baptism just to keep my German-Catholic grandparents happy, haha.


In anycase, it really bugs me she keeps depositing this poor boy off on everyone while she has her jollies. I absolutely do not want to say anything to a social service. Adam and his brother are still being well-cared for in terms of a roof over their head, food, no abuse, which is something I learned to recognize, and actually being sent to a great school.


Also, to be honest I worry if I do not take him, she will quit fostering and him and his brother will be shuffled off to a terrible home.


I wish I could foster them both. I actually have an extra bedroom they could share. A shared bedroom is approved if the children are the same gender.


Any advice?
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