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Forum: Atheist and Agnostic Parenting


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December 30th, 2006, 09:55 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
So, yeah ... why did I not know this was here?

Because I never scrolled down this far.

Anyway, I guess I could give some stats, eh?

- Lauren
- DF is Damien (he is deist, not atheist or agnostic)
- no kids yet, unless you count the furry kind ... 3 of those
- living in the middle of nowhere, heavily Catholic area, Louisiana
- getting married Dec 17 2007
- thinking about how the heck I'm going to deal with the religion issue once I DO have kids, since this is the family makeup:

non-practicing Methodist parents, allegedly Catholic FMIL who doesn't follow canon law but keeps trying to convert me, agnostic former Jehovah's Witness FFIL, nominally Catholic FSIL and FBIL who don't actually believe but go through the motions (baptizing my nieces and nephews, going to Mass, etc) for FMIL, deist DF, agnostic sister, a couple of atheist aunts and uncles on my side and two strongly Catholic preachy types (my aunt is an Ursuline nun and Mother Superior of her convent; my other aunt is also very Catholic but not a nun or anything so extreme, but she does preach at me)

It's just so confusing. And I want to have most of these issues straightened out before going the mom route seriously, because the religious ones ARE the type to argue. I mean, the nun-aunt once told my sister that unbaptized people (like us) go to hell, right in front of our parents. FMIL threw a hissy fit when DF stopped going to church. Etc. I'm getting hammered from every side especially now, since FSIL is about to have another kid and is planning all this baptism and christening stuff. Everybody keeps saying "Oh you won't want your kid to go to hell. What if you're wrong, dear? You really should start going to church like FSIL and her hubby, and get your kids baptized instead of all this stuff about letting them choose." I want to punch someone.

So, how are you?
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January 2nd, 2007, 05:22 PM
Athey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Bend, Oregon
Posts: 3,257
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Yeeesh. Talk about a headache!!

So I'm guessing you live near a lot of these relatives? It's so much easier when you live far away from crazy relatives because then they can't really know exactly what your religious habbits are.

All my and my DH's family are in Nebraska (and some of mine are in Colorado too). While we live in Oregon. Nice and distanced. I like it that way - lol.

It really sucks that they're putting so much pressure on the whole baptism thing. Thats such bunk.

2/3rd the world is NOT christian, so at least 2/3rd the planet doesn't get baptized (and only catholics and a few other christian sects actually do the baptism thing anyways, so you know it's way more then 2/3rds) so I guess ALLLL those people are instantly destined to a firely eternity of torture.

Honeslty, the "what if you're wrong" thing is THE most retarded reason to believe in something.

I still have a little worry in the back of my head as far as Kaya's religious upbringning though. So even I'm not totally free from worry.
My DH and I basically don't talk about religion at all. We don't practice anything, and it doesn't play a role in our lives, so it never comes up. HOWEVER DH does believe in God and I don't. I have no intention of teaching my daughter that gods are real things - I intend to teach her about the christian god just like I'll teach her about Buddha, Zues, Ganesha, Amaterasu, Ra, etc. As historical mythology.

I don't know exactly how my DH will feel about that. But honestly, he doesn't play a big enough role in her life right now anyways. If he actually notices what i'm teaching her, he can tell her his point of view. If trends continue, I doubt he'll even notice

In any case, It's up to the parents how they raise their children. I know it's a pain and it's stressful, but your family just needs to mind their own business

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January 2nd, 2007, 07:03 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
That's how I look at it, too ... that's a ridiculous reason to go to church and pray because even if there IS a God ... wouldn't that make him ANGRY? Pretending to believe? Plus I'm fine the way I am. If God exists and sends people like Siddhattha Gautama, Gandhi, Socrates and Plato to HELL and people like Dahmer to HEAVEN, well, I'd rather hang out with those guys in hell.

With the family issues, we live about six hours from them now, but after DF is done with school we'll be moving back home which is right across the freaking street from FMIL. She is the only 'preacher' of the bunch, even though everyone else is nominally Christian ... they don't practice anything. My own parents will still be about 3 hours away in Mississippi, but of course they're the ones who are nice enough to leave it up to me.

I won't have any problems with DF because he is a deist, and rejects the supernatural and miracles, and the holy books and the idea of divine revelation. He thinks any god that might exist is more like ... the essence of the universe or maybe the convergence of time and space. Nothing conscious. So that's a lot less problematic.
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