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getting stressed

Forum: Trying to Conceive


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September 21st, 2011, 09:22 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3
My husband and I have been together for 6 years but have only been married for about two. We have been trying to get pregnant for about six months and he and I are starting to get exhausted with the calculating and ovulation testing and pregnancy testing. Every month when I take a pregnancy test my heart sinks when I see the negative sign. If there are any suggestions please let me know because this is very stressful. My husband has two children from a previous relationship. She had gotten pregnant immediately and for us to be together for so long and not get pregnant is slightly disappointing. He made the comment the other day that he "has never had to TRY to have kids before". It is hard for me because I have waited until I graduated from college and until we got stable in our jobs and in our marriage. I know six months is not a long time to be trying but when it is all i think about and when I see all these beautiful baby's and their mothers, it makes it very hard for me. I want some suggestions about tips to getting pregnant as well as tips to dealing with the stress of not getting pregnant. I am very optimistic but I'm starting to wear down a little bit.
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September 22nd, 2011, 05:38 AM
bryan and nina's Avatar Love being a mommy!
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 7,574
TTC is very stressful, no doubt about it! Some things you can do to help is start taking prenatal vitamins. You can also use the sperm friendly lube "preseed"; it has helped many get pregnant since it simulates fertile cervical fluid, if you don't make a lot to begin with... Good luck and I hope you get your bfp soon!

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September 22nd, 2011, 06:32 AM
kristiemarie518's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,551
Don't get too down with his comment. He might not know it but maybe it's him that is having the trouble. Bodies change. I think you need to have a heart to heart with him before this becomes an issue between you two.

TTC is stressful, even in the best circumstances.


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September 22nd, 2011, 06:56 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,794
Yes- don't let his comment get you down. I doubt he meant anything against you at all. He was just making saying it was easy before. However, that doesn't mean it's something wrong with you at all. Secondary, infertility in men is very very common. So don't think it's just you. I am not sure of your age, but if you are younger then 30 I would keep trying for another 6 months with the OPK and other stuff. It will happen. If it doesn't, then let your dr know so they can start checking you both out. Lots of times, it's easy fixes. k?

It is emotional and disappointing, but you have to work just as hard at keeping a positive attitude and you do at working on TTC. Good luck to you. The ladies on this board are very helpful and supportive. Lean on them and don't expect your husband to understand everything cause they just don't. They also handle things differently. Be supportive of him and ask him to be supportive of you and realize you are in this together although you both handle the stress differently. This is VERY important. Good luck and I hope you don't have to be here long!
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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September 22nd, 2011, 07:13 AM
RunningMommyTo5's Avatar Marathoning Mom to 4!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 4,443
I agree with the ladies. It can be stressful, but you have to keep those lines of communication open with your DH and don't let the small things turn into a huge problem. I'm a perfect example that just because it was easy before doesn't mean it always will be. With our first three, we were pregnant with the first cycle of TTC. Now, here we are starting our 4th cycle of TTC our 4th. So, I'm in the same boat as you this time around. Trying to not get down and frustrated is hard, but just try to stay positive. If you're over 30, I'd go ahead and mention to your dr that you've been trying for 6mo with no success; under 30, they'll most likely tell you to give it another 6 mo. One other thing you can do, if you're not already, is charting your BBT and fertile signs such as CM and CP. It'll put you a step ahead to have those to show your dr in the event you do need to see them about not conceiving. Typically drs will want to see a few months of charts to see what your body's doing before they fully proceed with any treatment. It's best to go ahead and start keeping them now. GL to you and I hope that your BFP is just around the corner!
*~*~ Katie; Mommy to 3 fun-loving boys, one sweet little baby girl, and #5 on the way! *~*~

Last edited by RunningMommyTo5; September 22nd, 2011 at 07:15 AM.
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September 22nd, 2011, 12:15 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3
thank you for all the great comments. sometimes it is hard because you aren't aware of all the people that are in the same boat as you. I feel very alone sometimes because its not a common subject when Im meeting and talking with friends. I am 25 and most of my friends aren't married and most don't have children so its even harder to talk with them about it. Thank you for the support. It already makes me feel better knowing that I am not the only one who has struggled with trying to get pregnant and feeling all the emotions that come with it!!!
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September 22nd, 2011, 12:47 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 11,271
I really don't have anything to add to the other girls' comments, but I just wanted to send you virtual . Hang in there, and definitely vent to us and ask for advice any time you need it. There's no need to feel alone!

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September 22nd, 2011, 03:50 PM
Due 7/12
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 204
Like Junie I don't have much more to add except that you aren't alone.. while I haven't been trying for 6 months yet, I'm also 25 and can sympathize with your feelings- my friends are split... they either don't have kids or have 2 or more kids... Hang in there and this is a great added support system!
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September 23rd, 2011, 01:02 AM
Blue_Jar_Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,078
I'm 25 and we are TTC oue 4th child, but it's never easy no matter which time. Very few people just 'get pregnant' without a few months of wait or actual work. After my oldest son was born, we never used any birth control....and I never got pregnant. 6 years went by and we finally decided to have a 3rd. Every cycle was a crushing blow. I was so obsessed with OPK strips, tests, CM and all that, that it became a boring job. Finally on the 5th cycle we talked it over and decided to ditch all that. We decided to BD once a day every other day after CD10 until I got my period and not stress. That month we conceived our precious 19mo old.

Sometimes I worry again this time that it may take longer than that, maybe we just got lucky. We had two older ones that we never 'tried' for and the third that we tried very hard for. So, just because your husband did not try with his first two kids does not mean it's you. I had to try hard for my third but not the first. Each pregnancy is different. You may conceive a second child right away, you never know.

There are so many things that have to be just right that are out of our hands. Just relax, enjoy this time (because you'll be sick all the time soon enough) and know that all you can do is your part to try and the rest is our of your control.
Amanda- Proud Homeschooling, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, chicken raising stay at home mama to:
Girl (13.5)
Boy (11)
Boy (5)
Boy (3)
Girl (12.24.14)
Unplanned home birth on Christmas Eve 2014
Delivered by her daddy

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