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I'm 21 years old and pregnant. What do I do?

Forum: Am I Pregnant


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June 1st, 2013, 04:03 PM
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 6
Mandy, how do I send a personal message? I am new to this site..still learning how to use it.

Thank you everyone also for you consistent feedback. The father and I are both telling our mom's this week, I'm nervous but it's something I need and want to do. Pray for me!
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June 1st, 2013, 05:24 PM
sethsgirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: SC
Posts: 9,652
I think you have to have at least 10 posts before you can send or receive private messages.
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June 1st, 2013, 06:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Mobile, AL
Posts: 1,498
I was 21 and in college when I got pregnant with my first. I was SO scared what my DH (then my boyfriend) would say, and even moreso of my parent's reactions. Everything turned out better than I could have imagined. DH was even so scared to tell my Dad (he's a big guy lol!) that he got a nose bleed waiting on my Dad to get home from work. My parents are very Southern, do things by the book type of people. It was very emotional for me to tell them and we were so nervous how they would react. My mom immediately got up and gave me a huge hug and my Dad asked if we were going to get married (we had been planning on it and talking about it), then he said he was looking forward to being a grandfather--completely floored us! I hope yours goes as well as mine did. It's been over 8 years now since that night but I can remember it like it was yesterday!
Mommy to 3 Super Heroes and a little princess

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June 1st, 2013, 07:15 PM
10x_A_Mommy's Avatar Plus 1 :)
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 7,797
Everyone gave great advice here and it's great that you've seeked out help before making a decision based on fear.

I found out I was pregnant when I was 18, After my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. 2 weeks after telling him I was pregnant, they ran off out of state and got married. My daughter is now a 17 year old young lady My mom was furious, but in the end she was supportive in her own way. I won't say it was easy, being a young (single) mom was the hardest thing I've ever done. But it's also what I'm most proud of. It's made me the person I am today. The two of you need to take your time and really think the options through. If you decide raising the baby isn't right for you, then adoption can be a wonderful choice too. Best of luck to you and remember, even if your parents are upset at first, they will soon realize that this is their grandbaby, how could they not love him/her?
Angelgirl30 likes this.
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Gavin, Kason, Aidyn,Adelynn & Rylen due July 7, 2015 - born June 5th!

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June 1st, 2013, 08:19 PM
*Leslie*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Ohio
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I was in a very similar situation as you when I got pregnant with my now 6 year old. I was 21, a year of college left, and boyfriend of 4 months. My boyfriend left 3 days after I found out I was pregnant, but I never wavered on my decision to have an raise my child. You will be just fine if you decide to raise this baby. Start building a support system now. Your family will likely warm up to the idea given time and you will definitely need them.
I finished school a semester late, but everything worked out in the end. You can do it if it is what you truly want. As some other ladies have mentioned, adoption is another wonderful option if you don't feel you're ready, but have decided that you can't live with the idea of terminating the pregnancy.

Goodluck to you. This site is a wealth of knowledge so we hope you stick around.
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June 1st, 2013, 10:15 PM
MandyMae833's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 66
I sent you an email my messaging just popped up it must of been because of my low count. You must not have personal messaging turned on but it went to your personal email just now. Please let me know if you have ANY questions ok.
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June 2nd, 2013, 07:18 AM
Angelgirl30's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 803
I just wanted to say that I had a child at 18 with no support from my parents at all. They even kicked me out of the house! But I made it! She just turned 11 the other day and she is the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't imagine life any other way. I am 100% against abortion!! Here is why... 1. my faith doesn't allow it. Do you know that the baby's heart starts beating in week 5 of pregnancy? To me that is when it becomes a person. PERIOD. 2. I tried for 11 years to have another child and all of the doctors were telling me that it would be impossible. I spent tons of money and time and energy trying to have the child that I am now pregnant with. It was all in God's timing. Every child is a blessing. 3. My uncle's ex girlfriend from high school got pregnant. He begged her to keep the baby but she decided in abortion. He never had any other children because he couldn't live with the guilt of what he calls the murder of his first. He would have made a pretty awesome father too. There are so many different options avoiding terminating a child that never asked to be here in the first place. Everyone knows the result of sex and if they chose to have sex then they should step up to the plate and make sure that the baby has a good life. That doesn't mean that I don't believe in adoption. I totally believe in adoption and I feel that it takes a very strong person to be able to be selfless and chose an option like that. I admire women who can make that decision and most that I have spoken to said it is a lot less regret then termination. I also absolutely disagree with what the earlier lady said about the father having no rights. He might not have any rights legally but only people with no morals would take that away from them. That baby is a part of him just as much as it is of you and he should have just as much say as you do. That is what raising a baby is all about. Being able to talk to each other and make decisions together. My daughters father was not a very good father at first. But when he grew up he has been an amazing dad since. My daughter and him are very close, it just took him a while to grow up. But I NEVER took him away from her because no matter what that will always be HER daddy. Every child deserves the right to have a daddy.

With all that being said I do know there are certain instances to which things get more complicated. For example rape...I am on the fence about that one as well.

Either way none of these situations seem to be a part of this threads situation. I want to commend you on your decision to not terminate. I want you to know that your parents WILL be ok and so will his. Even if they take it hard at first please know that they will come around. They are your parents and seem to be loving parents so I'm sure that you will be fine. I'm so glad that you told the father and that he is so supportive of you. Most men are not so you have found a good one. Just know this happened for a reason and you have to figure out what that is. Don't worry about your financial situation because everything always works out. It may get difficult but it will all be ok, I promise!! Just take one day at a time and if you need help there are always places to turn! Good luck and I wish you the best!!
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September 24th, 2016, 12:07 AM
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by CMV1213 View Post
I am 21, recently went away to school for a semester and came home two weeks ago. Found out yesterday I was pregnant, but this morning I got the results for my blood tests. I have been with my boyfriend since January, but we've only been "officially together" for a month. A little background on me, I was in an abusive relationship (my first relationship) for a few years with a black male, I am white, and it little tore me and my family apart. I feel like the last year, or less than the last year, I finally got my life together, am happy, getting along with my family, and everything has fallen into place. My mom and sister know about my boyfriend, however, I have yet to tell my brothers and fathers and have them meet him. He's amazing so I am very optimistic that although they're scared of me dating, they will love him. However, I am waiting to tell him the news now. I have no doubt we would both love our child and be amazing parents, but I am so scared.

It was unreal to wake up this morning and have my doctor tell me on the phone that I am pregnant. I was up all night making pros and cons lists, and I narrowed my choices down to abortion and raising my child. I was always against abortion before, and I think my only two reasons for having an abortion would be so my boyfriend and I's lives could just continue and also so I don't have to tell my parents. I am not sure how they would react and I am scared to find out. I know my next step is telling my boyfriend, but anyone in my similiar situation or any type of advice that could be helpful at all I would love.

I stayed up all night on this site reading everyone's blogs, so I know this was the right place to come.
I understand how u feel bse its the same feeling am going through now i jst found it out yesturday and am also 21 but we jst nid to be strong and face the truth. many will hate and condem us but there is nothing to reverse back.
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September 24th, 2016, 12:13 AM
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by CMV1213 View Post
Thank you, any response is helpful to me, honestly, I appreciate any feedback I can get in making my decision.

And although he is a great guy, and I think he would be a great father, I mean, in the right circumstances.. there is no telling what could happen now.

Abortion has never occurred to me, had this situation happened to me, and it freaks me out so much, however, it is one of the options, so I do have to consider it.

Thank you.
I found out that am pregnant yesturday. am in school and my body is changing at a rapid rate am scared to death bse everyone is going to curse me and hate me.my parents are going to cry and see me as a curse to them. But amidst all that am willing to take up the responsibility of a mother.
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decisions, expecting, interracial, pregnant, scared

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