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Forum: Divorce and Separation


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September 21st, 2009, 05:02 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 932
I am getting frustrated right now.
My ex-husband...we have been seperated for almost 3yrs now, and we have a 6yr old daughter. Now this might sound bad, but my boyfriend of a year and a half proposed to me and I of course said yes...now...I live in Canada and my x lives in the NY... we were married while he was in the Marines and stationed in NC... he has been promising me a divorce for the last year but hasnt got around to it...now we have a pretty good relationship..but he doesnt put much into his daughter...he sees her once a year and doesnt pay support... and all of a sudden after telling me for the past 3yrs i can have sole custody of her is changing his mind and telling me he wont divorce me unless the custoday arrangement changes...I understand BUT when we were married he didnt bother to get me the proper papers for me to stay in the states so i was back and forth every 6months anyways...so my only option when i left him was to come home.
I would understand if he made an effort more often..i mean he doesnt even call her more then once every 2months...sent support or decided he wanted to be in her life before i told him i wanted the divorce soon so i could get married next year.
We were married for 5yrs before i got sick of him cheating on me and told him to pick his girlfriend or his family...he picked his gf.
I am tempted to get the papers and serve him...but im also scared he will put up a fight! what should i do

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September 22nd, 2009, 12:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,091
Send a message via AIM to Blondzilla
File. It isn't going to change anything about how he deals (or doesn't) with the situation with you playing the nice guy. He certainly doesn't appreciate how generous you have been in not going after him for the CS. File for divorce, tell him sign the papers or you will sue him for back support. Follow through. Oh and as far as him giving you papers to stay in the states, if your daughter was born in the US, you automatically have the right to stay in the US. A million illegals from Mexico have found that out! You hear it referred to as having an "anchor baby". Basically, anyone born within US borders is an American citizen and has the right to live in the US. So your daughter has that right. You, as her mother, also have the right to live here.
Your ex is bluffing. he has shown no interest in his daughter and is only using her to get to you. Call his bluff. WORST case scenario, he is awarded visitation. It will be HIS responsibility to either go to Canada and pick her up or pay for her to come down to the states. Since she is too young to travel alone, he gets to pay his way up, back, up and back again and her way here and back. That's a lot to spend the weekend with your child. It won't last. He's NOT going to get custody because at this point, your daughter hardly even KNOWS him and he hasn't supported her at all. I say go ahead and file and move on with your life! You have a future with your fiance that shouldn't be delayed because your ex can't take the fact that you're not sitting around on Friday night missing him. Too bad. His loss and YOUR gain! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
Let me know what you decide.
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