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So lonely

Forum: Divorce and Separation


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May 11th, 2010, 08:30 PM
Terri.'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Williams Lake, BC, Canada
Posts: 2,219
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My husband and I have been separated since St. Patrick's Day. He had to go out of town for a month for work. March 26th, he tells me (ON FACEBOOK) that he doesn't want to be unhappy anymore, so we're over. He changed his Facebook relationship status from "Married" to "It's complicated" on May 8th. Then, without even talking to me (which he kept saying since March 26th, that we'd talk), he changed his Facebook relationship status to "Single", and his status said, "Time to make me happy". SERIOUSLY? On FACEBOOK? He didn't even have enough respect for me to say it to my FACE? :'( I'm so lonely and heartbroken, I've never felt this low before. I miss him so much, and still love him so much. The bad part is that we work in the same place, so I have to see him almost every day! :'(
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May 11th, 2010, 10:32 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Hi Terri

Wow! What a nice touch. I wish I could be more positive with that...but that's just cold.

Dont you just love the internet and hate it at the same time?

Ok, now that I got that out of my same system, I wouldn't be begging him to stay! I cant even imagine working with my ex and having to see them daily for hours or even just moments on a daily basis!

I begged the ex to want to work it out and go to counseling for faaaaar too long. And simply put...if he isn't in it 200% there's nothing you can do about that. And if he pretends to be, then it really wont work out in the long run.

Here are some things that I would do:
1) Delete him from your facebook
2)Dont go to his and torture yourself anymore
3)Dont blame yourself and say it was YOU who 'made' him unhappy.
4)Get some 'you' time in
5)Focus on your kiddos

Ugh...Can you look for another job? I dont know how I would handle that situation. That's awful!

Vent here often! It still helps me! LOL! HUGS! Im right there with you on the lonely part! Really. It's tough.
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May 12th, 2010, 08:13 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,091
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Oh Terri I am so sorry! What a horrible thing for him to have done to you! And what a chickenshoot son of a biscuit eater he is for such a cowardly action! That is just about one of the lowest things I have heard of and you do NOT deserve that! The idea that you have to see him everyday is just adding insult to injury. I am so sorry. Is there a possibility that one of you will be able to find something else? Frankly, I think it should be him but I guess we can't force that. It isn't fair that he makes YOU change jobs but to save yourself from having to see the froggy bastage every day...might be worth it.
Like HOPE said, come here and vent, cry, scream...whatever you need to do. That's what we're here for and we all know how you're feeling. We hurt for you. It WILL get easier. It doesn't seem like it right now and I know that isn't much comfort but it will. Until then, we're here for you.
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May 16th, 2010, 12:59 AM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,178
Hello Terri,

First off, I'm so very sorry for what you're going through and he's very classless.

The girls here are right, delete him, although it does not help because I did, but I kept checking to see if he got a new one. Which he did, and so did his girlfriend (who NEVER had one before because I checked). His whole new group of friends did too, and they added each other and have pictures (to which I can see she is trashy which was bittersweet because I feared she was Holly Housewife but when I saw her posing with a beer bottle in the middle of the day with her fat rolls poking out of a baby doll type pajama shirt (in my house), then more of her friends (in my house) posing in clothes 2 sizes too small with a bondage ball gag in their mouth....I then remembered I was the one that had the monogrammed apron ) But I can't help it. His says he's in a relationship and so does hers but just not to each other (yet) but she's added all his family members and he hers and he and I were together for 10 years, never heard a word from his family. He never told me anything about seeing someone else but I get the point now. That has been the hardest thing is knowing that he had planned this other life while being so great to me, he was still doing things for me, going out of his way to do things, we were trying to have a baby (per his request) for a year so when I come home and find the computer screen open to a divorce support website....when he called to see how my day was 5 hours prior...I was shocked. It felt like my whole life and all my dreams were gone.

So seeing what they are doing in pictures is hard. I can't stop doing it and I wish I could but I know one day I'll get to the point I don't care, because he posted something on her wall that said "Whenever you feel like talking you know where to find me. Good night" so they must already be fussing and fighting and putting it out in public. So maybe by the time I don't care anymore will be when I have my own beautiful family & they'll be wondering what I'm doing

there are great women here and post anytime (although I am a long poster lol) it has made me feel so much better

Thank you HeatherW for my beautiful siggy!
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