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Forum: Divorce and Separation


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May 15th, 2010, 01:23 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
I thought I would share my days here....LOL

Well, it sure is quiet in here....is that a good thing?

2 weeks down at the externship....3 more to go. Everyone that works there is so great! The person I answer to is wonderful! She's a great person to learn from and you can tell she enjoys teaching. I am finding this kind of 'work' extremely satisfying. I say work in parentheses because you know, it just doesn't seem like work when you enjoy what you do and it's your passion.

Someone called and talked to the 'boss' and asked her if she could keep me there as long as she could (which wasn't possible because of my daycare issues) but I got there this morning and there sitting on the desk, was a bunch of beautiful flowers sitting in a vase with a card. I thought, 'what????' So I looked at the card it was addressed to me and underneath it said, (my name) 'aka the veteran'

Im totally puzzled....so I open the card. Inside it said, ' (my name), your name tag may say 'student' however you are a professional in every way. Thank you for taking pride in your work. With much appreciation, (patients name).'

I cried. I have felt discouraged in this externship a time or two even though it has only been 2 weeks. And so I keep this card on me at all times and when I feel discouraged, I pull it out and read it. It helps me to go on and move forward. Im not exactly sure what she was referring to because all I do is go there and treat patients how I want to be treated. And I never want to be treated like Im a inconvenience or just a number on a chart. And God help me that I NEVER become so desensitized that I EVER treat anyone that way. This woman has no idea how much that meant to me, what strength it gave me, and a tad boost of much needed confidence. She has no idea that I keep it on me, nor how much I appreciated that. I didn't know if were 'illegal' or 'unethical to find a patients phone number or address to send her a thank you since really, it didn't concern 'business' (so to speak) so I will have to look into that on Monday. Maybe I can talk to her doctor and put a note of thanks in her chart so she could get it when she went to her doctor next? I dont know....

The best part is....ITS CONTAGIOUS! I told my preceptor (the boss of the facility) that I really appreciated her patience and thanked her for being part of my education and gave her a hug. (Ok, it's professional but it's really a tight-knit community-so that's ok.) She told me later that day that day that she would hire me.....so I am pretty sure that I would have a job after externship is over. And its a great place to be. (But there is a guy that is TOTALLY inappropriate-especially to women-and I can't stand him.) Im embarrassed when he is working because of the things he says to mostly women patients. some patients dont know that I am there as a student and think that I work there-so that says to them that his behavior is ok? That his behavior is tolerable? And one person's actions can affect a patients view of the facility as a whole. I dont want to be associated with that! It's of sexual nature at times, sometimes he has the decency to wait until the patient leaves before making a comment, other times he says stuff DIRECTLY to the patient. Sometimes I just feel uncomfortable around him. Period.

I have talked to both my instructors over this. One of them said to wait until the end of my externship so it did not have an adverse reaction on my education or my externship....I kept quiet...for a few days. But, I got to thinking....and you know what? I didn't wait. I told her that I realized I was there for my education and as a student, but there were some things that were not only embarrassing to me, but extremely non-professional. She knew exactly who I was talking about and stated he has been talked to before about his 'professionalism' or lack thereof. He was moved to another clinic. I realize that because I opened my mouth, it could make or break any employment opportunities...but then again, I wasn't really looking here, anyway. I was looking to move, unless it was something I couldn't turn down and supported my family well. And as far as my grade in class (which really matters to me right now) and them having to fill out an evaluation for my instructor, well....the only thing I have is that card from that patient to prove that I was professional and it was a from a patient (the ones who matter the most, anyway.) So overall, I did the right thing. We will see how this turns out.

So after learning all this new stuff about me...what I would like to do, what I am interested in, the following sayings are true for me....'Find what you love to do, and you will never work a day in your life.'

Anyway, just chugging along here....What's everyone else doing? Taking well deserved self time? Spending time with the little ones? What's everyone been up to? Dani, how's the new job going?

Everyone check in soon! I know I will be looking for updates! Hugs to you all!

Last edited by hopenot4gotten; May 15th, 2010 at 01:33 AM.
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May 15th, 2010, 09:02 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,459
I'm doing okay. Work is going very well. My nemesis got fired, yet my boss is getting me a gift card for all my hard work.

My bf is still wonderful.

I still have low days where I miss the ex. I think he may have a gf. I don't think I can handle that. I told him so. I told him that as long as he stays with me, he can't have a gf. I give him credit for knowing and handling my having a bf, but I'm not strong enough to handle him dating yet. He didn't think that was fair. I told him "Our marriage ended because you weren't enough for me and you know it. But I was the best you could find. You won't find anyone better. So let's not lie here. It would only be a slap in my face if you dated right now. I'm dating to keep my mind off of things and because yes, I deserve more than you could give me."

I think it may seem unfair, but I cannot handle him dating someone yet, saying to me "I didn't love you. You weren't good enough." It was said by both of us that I deserve more than he could give. But he really can't find someone better than me. I took care of him and his daughter. I was there through so much crap. I stood by him. He cannot date. It hasn't even been a month since it was final. Just last week he told me that he has no interest in dating. So why all the text messaging on his cell phone. I don't get it. I can't handle it. It's eating me up.

SO yea, that's my update. It's a low day here.

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May 15th, 2010, 02:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,091
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Update...well I qam EXHAuSTED by the new job but I do like it so far. I am having an issue with the manager--but I am at a temporary "training" branch. This guy doesn't like me for some reason. I can't figure it out. I don't care that he doesnt like me other than the fact that he has some say in whether or not I keep this job or move to a better branch or a worse branch. I was only supposed to be at his branch this week but the &^%$#! emailed our district leader and requested that I be left at his branch for another week. &^%$#!!!! I kept telling everyone Four more days with him...three more days with him...two more...tomorrow and I am GONE! Then 2 hours before my shift ends he tells me I am with him for one more week. Gee. Thanks. Oh well. The new branch is one of the biggest in the area so it will be good for me to stay here another week and get faster. Yeah. We'll go with that. LOL
BUT the good news is I like the job and I think it's going to be good for me once I get the skills that I need down.
HOPE--you are a treasure. I am so glad your patients see it too! I love that you got that surprise and that it makes you feel good about yourself. You should!
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May 16th, 2010, 11:26 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
QueSera-Im sorry you are going through down times right now. It really doesn't sound fair for him to date. I know what you are saying. I think men are able to move on more quickly than us women for some reason. Or maybe not 'move on' more quickly, but they are wired differently than us women, for sure.

On the other hand, Im glad bf is good to you. Anything getting serious? Or is he kind of a pass the time and pain kind of bf? Just curious...(totally none of my business, btw)....was just curious. I guess Im asking because I would really like to know what that's like....lol

Dani, Im glad you love your job! Maybe it's a test of endurance to have to stay at longer and deal with this guy? Patience builds character...lol...cliche? I know. I hope when you do get to leave there, that you get a better branch so you can climb all the way up the ladder, through the branches, pick the apples and then make apple pie with all your hard work.

Thank you for all your input and for caring so much others, Dani. Listening to everyone here, making time for it, and your thoughtful insights....your btdt stories of relating...where you have been and where you have gone...and what the great things you have done on here with years of your own pain. I really admire you for that. You are truly an inspiration to me.

Tomorrow is a new day.... to you!
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May 17th, 2010, 05:28 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,459
The bf is the long term kind of thing. I was only expecting a pass the time and pain bf, but he is so much more than that. The ex and I had a blow up about the texting another woman. WE agreed that although we can be great friends, I need the space between us. SO when he comes back, he will move all his stuff out and stay on his friend's couch. We will only communicate by text when bills are due. Yet he called me yesterday. Breaking the new rules already. I think he likes to keep the pain fresh.

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