Log In Sign Up

Just Wanted To Say Hi

Forum: Divorce and Separation


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Divorce and Separation LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
November 2nd, 2010, 11:06 AM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Metro Atlanta
Posts: 12
I am new here, but wanted to take a minute to introduce myself and share a little bit of my story. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years, and just had our fifth child. A few months after I found out I was pregnant, I found out he had been cheating on me with a local woman, and had been telling me lie after lie for months. He instantly wanted a divorce, but I wanted to try and work things out if possible. He left for a few days, then came back home for a week, then left and moved to a family member's house several hours away. After a few months of being alone, he finally decided he wanted to work things out, and he's been home for a few months now. Our relationship is improving, and his affair was more of an emotional one rather than a physical one. With everything we have gone thru over the past several years, we just lost each other. I knew it, and had hopes that we would find each other again and things would get beter, and he of course just gave up and moved on. I'm happy he's home and our relationship is better than it has been in years, but I am having such a hard time trusting him. I hate living with the secret fear that it is going to happen again. I also have alot of unanswered questions regarding the affair. He refuses to really talk too much about it, and won't go to counseling, so I guess I'm just wondering how you let that stuff go, and how long it took to let it go. I just feel like I'll never get over it until I have more answers, know what I mean?
Reply With Quote
November 2nd, 2010, 03:27 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,546
I was not able to let it go, thus the marriage was not worth wasting more years of my life being unhappy and untrusting.
I'm of the frame of mind that if there is no trust, there is no relationship; if you can work through it, then keep trying until you decide that you can't continue.

If he will not go to counselling, then perhaps you will benefit from it yourself if it will help you work through your feelings. Have you tried telling him that you are having a tough time with the trust portion of things and see if he will consider even just a couple of counselling sessions?

Best of luck!

Reply With Quote
November 4th, 2010, 08:47 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,501
Send a message via AIM to mommy2lilman Send a message via Yahoo to mommy2lilman
I too had a hard time with this. In the end, I just couldn't forgive and we never had any trust again. Especially with him refusing to speak about it.

I agree that you should at least go to counseling for yourself. It's important to express yourself even if you don't end up salvaging things. Trust takes a long time to regain back if ever.

Wishing you luck!

Reply With Quote
August 24th, 2011, 02:58 AM
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 4
Basically I had to hound mine for years to feel like I had all the answers and honestly I am still not over the lies and emotional infidelity. This is a hard one but I would say that if he wants to really move forward then he needs you to get all the answers you have or it will become a mental battle for you like it was for me most likely. I havent been the same since and dont even recognize myself anymore. I truely hope you get the answers you need and deserve because from experience I know that not knowing is no way to live.
Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:39 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0