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Desperately Seeking Advice

Forum: Divorce and Separation


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May 1st, 2011, 12:06 PM
MidnightMaiden's Avatar )O( Blessed Be )O(
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Kelowna, B.C
Posts: 4,101
Ok... So... I'm not sure where to start.

DH and I were friends for 2 years before dating. We got pregnant after only 4 months of dating. He knew he wanted to marry me as he had been waiting for over a year to date me.

We got married in March of 2010, and it's been pretty hellish ever since.

He's ALWAYS angry. He jumps to anger easily and doesn't care about yelling in front of our daughter, which I have MAJOR issues with.

He's gotten physical with me ONCE. It was back in September. Scared the crap out of me.

Right now, he's currently in Ontario and I'm in B.C working. He's supposed to be driving out at the end of this month when he has saved the money to do so.

We have been fighting so much. He told me yesterday to F**K off. He's never said that to me before. He's always so angry with me. He has NO respect for me or my feelings.
He even told me, about a year after giving birth, that he wasn't attracted to my body anymore.

I am considering divorce. I'm tried of constantly crying and being made the bad guy with him.

Anyone else been in my shoes? Help!!
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May 5th, 2011, 10:28 AM
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1
I have. I have been in a fairly ugly marriage for the past several years. My husband has told me more than once that I ruined his life by getting pregnant (and as a result, us marrying). He talks all the time about what he's given up-his boat, freedom, extra money, drinking, smoking, etc.


We have now been separated for almost two weeks (he left me on Saturday the 23rd). At first he was an ***, then he started to calm down and was really cordial. Now he's back to being an ***. Typical. I never knew which him to expect on any given day. :shrug:

I am currently filling out divorce papers, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he already has an attorney and is working on that himself. Which sucks. I can't afford an attorney. :-/ He agreed to continue to pay the mortgage and household bills here, but I'm not sure I can count on him. We'll see. Tomorrow is payday...

At any rate... I figure it's better to be away from him and be less stressed (hard to say with five little ones) than with him and stressed to the max...
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May 19th, 2011, 12:35 AM
MidnightMaiden's Avatar )O( Blessed Be )O(
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Kelowna, B.C
Posts: 4,101
I wish I had that strength and courage.
We got into another fight today.
I sent him a text asking what he was up to and he said "Playing games and getting up to no good"
Turns out he was getting another tattoo (this will be his third since me leaving) and he told me outright that he didn't want to tell me until it was done so I couldn't tell him no. Then he said that he thought I would get angry which normally happens anyways.
You would think, that after three years together, he would know me better than this, but he doesn't.
I'm not angry he got it done, I'm angry he didn't talk to me about it and that he felt it was ok to keep it from me.
If he's willing to keep something like this from me, what else has he kept from me?
I love him so much, and I'm so confused and scared...
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May 19th, 2011, 10:10 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,501
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Sorry you're going through that. Have you considered some counseling for yourself to help you work through things and go from there?

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