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Forum: Divorce and Separation


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June 16th, 2011, 11:55 AM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sibe Momma
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kennewick WA
Posts: 1,231
ok its so slow in the custody issues so i think i will just post this here. My ex fiance and i have a 2 1/2 year old son together. We separated when he was 6 months old, he was very abusive and the state was coming after hm on abuse charges. Well they got dismissed on technicalities. Anyways, for the past two years he has been nagging me to see his son but every time i go back home he hides from me. I stood in his mothers driveway and he would not even come outside to see him. His mom said she had to "call her lawyer friend and talk to them about it first." Well, THAT was in december. Before that every time i called him, texted or wrote an email saying lets talk about chase and what your interests and wants in his life are and you can visit him while we talk. He has since changed his number, blocked me on facebook, and deleted his email. This has been going on for 2 years now! He has not paid a single penny in child support and support enforcement is taking forever... Honestly i dont want him in his life at all... he is an abusive sob, a child, a druggie, and so many more things... I just dont know what to do anymore. I have already talked to the best attorney in my area who has been practicing family law for over 38 years. HE says that i can challenge him for full custody and i wont even need legal help i have so much evidence against him. I sent him a message earlier this week and he blocked me all together, so i emailed his mom she changed her email so i hunted down her new one. I am giving them until first thing saturday morning to contact me. OTHERWISE, when i go out in july I'm hunting him down or going to her house with papers for different options and he will sit down and talk by force, since thats the only way to get to him... But am i doing the right thing? My son is 2 1/2 and things his stepdad is his father, which is completely fine with me, he wants to adopt him anyways... what would you do in this situation?

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June 17th, 2011, 07:05 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,501
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If it were me, honestly, I would let the courts handle it. I wouldn't bother trying to contact them again. I'd go file for your custody and get full custody of your little one.

Then unless your really need the c/s money I'd probably move to sever his rights to your little one based on the fact you said he's an abuser and he's playing games. I wouldn't want my lo exposed to that.

I wish you luck! Sorry you're going through that.

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July 7th, 2011, 08:27 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 555
I would cut ties with him. Let the courts deal with it.
Mom to:
Quinn - 10
Gavyn & Kendric - 8
Joseph - 18 months
Step-mom to:
Kiersten - 8
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July 11th, 2011, 01:54 AM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,178
I agree, I would let the courts handle it. I know that you're going out of your way so he can have a relationship with his child, but clearly none of them want anything to do with the child or with you. I know that sounds hurtful and I don't mean it to sound so bad but sometimes you have to read it like it is to understand. I work in law enforcement and if you keep on, YOU could be facing harassment charges. What you need to do is go to the lawyer, file your paperwork and move on. If he refuses to have contact with you now, more than likely if he's served he won't show up for court and you win by default. There has to be a court order (at least where I live) for him to even have to pay child support so if you don't have any paperwork now, he doesn't have to pay because there is no order making him. The longer you wait the longer it will be with no child support. Once an order has been issued and he doesn't pay, file a contempt of court charge on him and let the courts handle it again. If you are persistent (once an order or child support has been given) they WILL go after him. It may take a long time but they will garnish his wages and when he changes jobs, they will track him down, and if he thinks he can get a job where he's paid "under the table" they can issue a warrant for his arrest if they've tried & tried to get him to pay and he won't. 95% of the time where I live, if there is a warrant issued for failure to pay child support, their bond to get out of jail is how much they owe in child support (plus court costs & other fees) so you'll get that money.

With y'all not being married when you go to court you may have to do a DNA test if he claims it isn't his but since the child is already here it won't take too long & is painless. Stop trying to be nice to him and do what you have to do so you won't get in an trouble!

Thank you HeatherW for my beautiful siggy!
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