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Forum: Divorce and Separation


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July 21st, 2011, 08:15 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1
to sum up a long story.. My daughters dad and i have been divorced for almost 4 years, when we filed for divorce, I was a stay at home mom and a college student, so i had no money, no job, no stability in my life. I decided to let him have primary custody of our Daughter. Thinking that was in the best interest for her. His job in the oil field only allowed him home one week at a time, so while we was away at work for the week, i would keep her since we lived in close proximity. (A few months after the divorce was filed he was remarried). After about a year of living in the same area as him, I decided to move back to where my parents lived so that i could get my life together and get back in school... its About 4 hours away from my daughter. Up until she started kindergarden I still kept her every other week.

Since she has started kindergarden, I now drive up there every other friday to pick her up and every other sunday to take her home. Over the past two years, I met and got into a serious relationship with a nice guy, he asked me to marry him about a year ago, and our wedding date is September 2nd 2011. He has an infant son that is almost 2 years old, who i love like my own son.

The problem is, latley i have been thinking that maybe i am not making the right decision to settle down 4 hours away from my daughter. Its not only the 16 hours i spend on the road to go get her every other weekend, its that i miss out on her school and after school functions and most of all im missing out on being her parent. Every decision I have made has been about her. Im scared im going to look back someday and have missed everything about her growing up.

im just so confused, the wedding is 6 weeks away, i need to make a decision on what to do. i care a lot about my fiance and especially his son and i could stand the thought of breaking his heart and leaving this life i have created, but i cant stand the thought of watching my daughter leave me for another school year... what do yall think?
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August 30th, 2011, 02:50 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 555
I don't know all the details, but I was in a similar situation. I had been married for 8 years and was a stay-at-home mom. I insisted on sole legal and physical custody of my 3 kids with my ex getting visitation. I knew it was going to be nearly impossible to support the 4 of us, but I also knew I couldn't be separated from my kids and would find a way to make it work. As far as being 4 hours away, I can't imagine settling down and then deciding to leave all that but I also couldn't imagine being away from my kids. Is there any way custody can be re-evaluated at this point? That is probably what I would try to do.
Mom to:
Quinn - 10
Gavyn & Kendric - 8
Joseph - 18 months
Step-mom to:
Kiersten - 8
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