Log In Sign Up


Forum: Divorce and Separation


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Divorce and Separation LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
October 19th, 2011, 09:04 PM
danniegirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fort Bragg, NC
Posts: 4,826
I really need to get a lawyer for child custody and child support. However I really cant afford one. What can I do now? He wants the kids this weekend but i font feel comfrotable them going to where he is staying with three newly single guys that partied prior to their seperation. There is no beds for the kids there or anything and right now i can do anything.

I am tired of the names he is calling me in front of the kids and I am tired of my 4 year old calling me the same name. I am tired of the text messages and I am tired of him being in control.

he wants to agree on all this but he says i am being stubborn. Its starts with what he wants to pay me. he claims 600 every lawyer i have talked to says i should be entitled to anywhere between 900 to 1100. I asked for 800 he is leaving me with 1000 in rent almost 1000 in daycare plus electric water and everything I will not be able to make it on 600 and he doesnt care. He just says well maybe I shouldnt get the kids then.

He wants to act all tough and is extremely mad at me becuase i didnt back day our seperation. telling me that i am only drawing this out for hope that there is something there. I know my marriage is over. I should have left him 5 years ago when he initally cheated on me but i stuck by him. I should have left him when he started shoving me and punching holes in walls.

I honestly thought I had this all figured out but the more it goes into it the more i am scared and lost.

Im not trying to keep the kids from him but why would he want the kids in a house that has the cops called almost everyweekend for the parties.

Reply With Quote
October 21st, 2011, 08:57 AM
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2
Good Morning,

First of all, I'm not an attorney. But, I might be able to help you out a little bit with NC law.

Don't listen to what your ex says, he will only tell you what you want to hear. Child support is set by the courts, not by him, unless of course you agree to a specific amount.

I wouldn't let the children go with their dads this weekend without filing for custoday and child support first. Reason being, since you guys are married he has the same legal rights as you and wouldn't be forced to return the kids, even if you call the cops. You can file for custody and child support by yourself through the courts - google- Cumberland County Courts Family Services , you'll have to look for the contact info, or better yet, contact legal aid (google search - Legal Aid- Cumberland County NC) and see if they can help you.

Is your soon to be ex military? Is he supporting the children now? If he is military I think your entitled to his BAH and child support until the divorce is final.

Here is a website that is full of attorneys that provide advice and guidance- FREE!!

google- FreeAdvice Legal Forum - scroll down about halfway under Family Law- Child Custody/Visitation -I highly recommend you check this site out and ask questions on how to proceed with the divorce.

Have you filed for legal separation? If so, go down to social services and get help paying for child care and food stamps until your ex is ordered to pay child support.

Call legal aid or the court house TODAY and file for custody before he does. NC goes by a child support calculator to determine the amount paid, not by what the non custodial parents WANTS to pay.

I hope this info is helpful to you. Your ex sounds like a real winner......... Just make sure you file for custody/child support before you hand them over, he LEGALLY doesn't have to return them.

I'm not to far away from you- I'm in Raleigh

Good Luck!!


you'll need to cut/paste the links I included- the forum says I don't have enough posts to link them......sorry
Reply With Quote
October 21st, 2011, 02:08 PM
danniegirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fort Bragg, NC
Posts: 4,826
Thanks. My ex is in the military and so am I we bring home close to the same amount. I havent files for legal separation because he just moved out. I am also filing for divorce in Delaware but they told me I have to do custody and support in NC. So I did end up seeking a lawyer and I am going to somehow come up with the means to pay for it.

Reply With Quote
October 24th, 2011, 02:05 AM
2BigBrothers1LittleSister's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 2,072
It seems as if you have things pretty figured out, but I did want to let you know that he does have to give you his BAH and if he doesnt, call his sergeant and they will talk to him about it and counsel him on it. Regardless of a custody order or not. Call his Sgt or SSgt today. We use to be stationed at Bragg, I now live in Cary which isnt to far away.

Reply With Quote
October 24th, 2011, 02:34 AM
danniegirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fort Bragg, NC
Posts: 4,826
Well I have to figure that out becuase I am also in military they are saying I dont qualify for his pay. I have an appointment with my legal office in November.

I did not however let him have the kids he was livid but ended up having to work. So he wants them this weekend. I just hope work can understand and let me be out of the office for a bit

Reply With Quote
October 24th, 2011, 09:48 PM
2BigBrothers1LittleSister's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 2,072
I dont think it will matter, I think regardless that you should receive his BAH, you are the one that has the children. But, Im not really sure. I hope things work out for you, and I will keep my fingers crossed for you! Keep us updated.

Reply With Quote
November 4th, 2011, 06:57 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,501
Send a message via AIM to mommy2lilman Send a message via Yahoo to mommy2lilman
Hope things work out for you! And try Legal Aid if need be. Sometimes attorneys will let you pay a reduced fee.

C/S is determined by how much each parent makes, cost of living, daycare, who has primary custody, involvement with child, etc.

Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:02 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0