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I guess everyone has a breaking point...

Forum: Divorce and Separation


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February 9th, 2012, 08:48 AM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 7
Hello everyone! This is my first time coming to a forum and well...I think I need a place to let out all of the stress and issues I have in my life. Let me start off with the 2 most amazing things in my life. My children. I have a beautiful 7 year old DD whom I adore and a gorgeous 5 year old DS who just lights up my life. I will be 30 this year so do the math- I was in my early 20's when I had them. Their father and I had been together for 4 years when my daughter was born in 04 and 6 years when my son was born in 06. It was a rough relationship. Abuse...terror....I thought wedding bands would fix it. We got married in 2008 and within the same year, after walking in on a terrofying screaming match between him and my (then)3 year old DD, he was told he would either leave on his own or in handcuffs. I filed for divorce. That was 4 years ago. My divorce was finalized in early 09. It was then that I met a great guy and we have been together ever since. It's been a very difficult battle ever since. The same year we got divorced, my ex met a girl who was 9 years younger than him. While I know that age means nothing as my DBF is 3 years younger than me- her age and maturity level don't mix. She is about as mature as my DD. For the past 3 years I have endured nasty mail being sent to my house, an ex who is now well over $6000 behind in child support as well as trying to live a good life for my kids and support them. The DBF has been a rock to me. Someone who didn't want a relationship or kids of his own- he has completely come full circle and helped me more than I could ever fathom.

My DD was recently diagnosed with precocious puberty. For those who do not know what this is- She is 7 years old and her bones ( After a maturation scan was done of her hand and wrist when she was 6 years and 10 months) shows that her body is growing as if she was almost 10. A difficult situation. She is developing breast buds, hair in nether regions and body odor. It's scary for us. After consulting a doctor, I decided that injecting my daughter with growth hormones every morning to help stop the stunt in growth was not something I wanted to subject my daughter too. So we are trudging forward. Monthly we have weeks of controllable anger, screaming, crying and spitefulness. The DBF moved in a couple months ago and it's caused quite the strain on our relationship as I battle to keep her calm and collected and try not to provoke anything that will start a tantrum. But lately, a simple request to brush her teeth in the morning sparks a full out ordeal. You have a very tired and mentally stressed Mommy on your hands, ladies!! The DD started this week on Monday in full emotional melt down stage and it was further compounded by her father announcing to them during a visitation Tuesday night that the girlfriend is expecting a child. It's heart breaking to have a 7 year old melt down in the shower because she is jealous of the new role this baby is going to take. While I can not confirm nor deny the validity of this admission of a new baby since they have in the past said things to the kids to see if it would provoke a reaction out of me- it is my hoping they wouldn't inflict this type of pain on my children for the sake of seeing if I react. My DD is heartbroken and feels like she is going to be replaced by this new baby in her fathers life. I have encouraged her to talk to her father about this and she refuses and claims he will punish her for bringing it up. There is no communication between him and his children- so disheartening....

So this is me letting it all out, since I don't normally break down but I needed too. The DD and DS are taking a much needed weekend away to their grandmothers on Friday and I look forward to some alone time with the DBF so we could pack ( we are moving in a few weeks ) and see what else we could do, together to get these kids back on track. I know that I didn't talk very much about my DS so to not leave him out- He is the epitome of a Momma's boy since birth. He has a very poor relationship with his father because the ex always doted on the DD and not as much towards my DS. The DBF and my DS have a great relationship and have bonded in ways that I never thought imaginable. While the DS says he loves his father, he said he loves the time he spends with the DBF. It has been great having the DBF around since my son was out of control and very angry all the time prior to him moving in. The bond, play video games and the DBF even includes my DD in when they throw the football or when he's cooking in the kitchen. We have created a great family dynamic.

I am going to post about the precocious puberty issues I am having in the health section as well but if there are any other moms out there that have had the same issue or can relate...I'd love to see how you got through it! Thanks!!!
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