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preparing for custody battle

Forum: Divorce and Separation


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July 19th, 2012, 07:13 PM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sibe Momma
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kennewick WA
Posts: 1,231
SO today DH and i went and talked to a lawyer about custody of my 3 year old with my ex. Ex and i never married he hasnt seen DS in 3 years or talked to or supported him at all. We are going to move for full legal custody with child support (since the state is taking 3 years to establish and enforce child support i will have the lawyer do it instead). What are some of the things that one can expect during a custody battle? He has an abusive and drug/alcohol filled past as well. Is it normal/standard to have a home inspection? If so what should we prepare for and do to prepare the home? Should i have witnesses or their statements for evidence to the abuse he did to me and our son while we were together?

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July 20th, 2012, 06:46 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,501
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I have no idea to. The state took forever for mine too- 2 years. I also got sole custody of my little one.

When it came down to it, my attorney said judges don't look at he said/she said. The fact he hasn't seen your LO in 3 years should help your case. If your little one is under the age of 5 I think you can also go for back child support.

I never had a home inspection.

I wish you luck!

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July 24th, 2012, 01:11 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
If your ex hasn't seen nor supported your DS, that's considered abandonment & your dh can adopt him. Since he's abusive, that's the route I would go. then your ds is safe from him. Just advice from someone who's btdt.

As far as cs, if you go that route all a lawyer can do is put in a court order. He/she can't enforce it. I know several women who's ex's are court ordered to pay child support & they don't.

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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August 29th, 2012, 03:45 PM
Baby Boy Coming in March!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Phoenix-Metro area
Posts: 1,842
I'm also in AZ. You actually can go and file all the paperwork for custody yourself (free of a lawyer & their fees)... It's pretty easy in Maricopa County. I did it, and it didn't take any time at all. Because he's missing from the child's life that should help. It's super easy. Maricopa County superior court has an online system where you answer the questions & fill in all the information and it produces the forms for you. I'm just saying that by doing so you could save a lot of money on lawyer fees, especially if this guy is not in the picture.

In the state of AZ legal paternity has to be established which means DES, DCSE, or a court has to order a paternity test & he has to be proven to be the father of the child since you were never married. Until legal paternity is established you have no rights to child support & he has no rights to any custody/visitation w/ the child except at your own discretion.

Is this man on the child's birth certificate? Sorry, I don't know the back story here.

Was he ever charged with domestic violence or brought up on drug/alcohol charges? If he has a criminal record that COULD work in your favor as well.

I've done a bit of research as I'm also in the Phoenix area and have a situation involving a sperm donor who left. Because of the timing of my divorce being final and the birth of this new baby in March, my exh could be considered the assumed father, but I also was able to read up information on paternity, birth certificates, etc etc in AZ and was able to find a wealth of information.

Just because you have a child support order doesn't really mean he has to pay it. You can go to the Division of Child Support Enforcement and they will do everything they can to enforce the order but ultimately they can't MAKE him pay. He can face charges & jail time if he doesn't though.

I agree with a PP about seeking an adoption with your current DH since he's been the one to play the role in the child's life, if that's something both of you desire.

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