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Recently Split, Three Year old Aggression Issues...

Forum: Divorce and Separation


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June 3rd, 2013, 05:50 PM
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1
My ex and I split in January of this year. I moved out in April. Mid-April, Cole - our three year old - started having aggression issues at daycare. The daycare is trying to get "Inclusive Daycare" program for him (a government program where they hire his own daycare worker) because of his behaviour. I am also taking him to the doctors tomorrow for a check up, and a psychologist Wednesday.

When we split, it was extremely important to my ex and I to make it easy on Cole and his sister Rebecca (almost two). We do not fight in front of them, or have adult conversations, and they see him everyday after daycare for a couple hours and every other weekend. We are civil, even friendly, towards each other and live a block away from each other in the same small town. Last Friday, we bought Cole a bike and both taught him how to ride together. We just don't love each other romantically, it was a mutual split, so this has been easy for us to maintain.

I just don't know how to help Cole with his anger. He is very angry at me and his Dad (as he has shared with us). I've talked to him about feelings and coping with them, and that it's okay to be angry but not okay to hit/tantrum. At home, he is my usual sweet adorable little man - but at daycare he is a horror. They keep a daily journal of it. He has shown some improvement, but they cannot keep spending the amount of time he requires with him - hence why I am so hopeful for this inclusive care. Otherwise, he'll have to go somewhere else... more change.

I am CONSUMED by worrying about him. I try to keep his life as normal as possible at home, with some extra loves here and there. My ex and I have started spending more one-on-one time with him, trading off his sister (who seems unaffected and her usual cheery self).

What else can I do to help him?? I need some light at the end of the tunnel...
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aggression, divorce, preschool age

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