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Ex-husband won't supply letter needed for food stamps and insurance

Forum: Divorce and Separation


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July 4th, 2013, 12:52 PM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2

My children and I have been approved for food stamps (Please, I ask you to be considerate and not post negative comments. I left a marriage that was mentally and physically abusive. I promise that I am working hard to build a quality life for me and my children.) In addition, I have qualified for a low cost health insurance plan.

Both programs require a simple note from my ex-husband verifying that he sends my children child support each month. It is something along the lines of "To Whom It May Concern..." All that is required is a note saying that he sends the money, the amount, along with his signature and the date.

He tells me he is uncomfortable with providing the note to me. He says he should not be responsible for providing this financial information. I told him it is needed to verify that he actually does send the payments. Plus, it verifies the amount of the payments. I told him how important this note is. I have yet to receive a reply.

Please note that I do have PayPal payment receipts which confirms the amount of the monthly payments and includes a note from my ex-husband indicating the payment is for child support. The PayPal receipts also list his name and e-mail address.

I have a deadline by which to return the paperwork to the appropriate agencies. Everything is on hold while I wait for my ex-husband to send me a simple two line message.

If he does not, do you think food stamps and the health insurance program would accept the PayPal receipt and his note within that as proof? I am trying to cover my bases properly. These programs are incredibly important to me and my children.

I would sincerely appreciate any advice...with good intentions, please! Thank you very much.
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July 5th, 2013, 05:55 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 66,539
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I don't know how the system works in the US, I am in the UK.

However it is quite normal to ask an ex spouse for proof of maintenance payments, as to claim many forms of government assistance you need black and white proof. Lots of people have to do it. My ex has done it for us before.

I would be pro-active and tell the agencies you're applying to that your ex is not co-operating, ask them what you should do about it, they may be able to suggest other forms of proof, or contact him on your behalf.

All the best of luck to you. I hope things work out and get easier. Don't feel you have to apologise to anyone for doing what you have to do to care for your children. Anyone who has anything negative to say about it has likely never been in that situation and doesn't understand.

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July 5th, 2013, 04:00 PM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2
Thank you very much for your kind words. It means a lot to me. So far, my ex-husband still has not sent the information required. I have to return the necessary paperwork by Wednesday, July 10, 2013.

I am sincerely hoping that the agency officials will accept the proof I have, as I outlined in my original post.

Please take care. Hugs to you too.
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