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Forum: Divorce and Separation


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June 27th, 2014, 11:59 AM
danniegirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fort Bragg, NC
Posts: 4,826

My ex husband and I divorced in 2012. When I did the divorce I didnt do anything for custody of support. We had a verbal agreement and we were sticking by it. Two months before the divorce was final he left the military (we were both in) and went back to his home state. Since he been there he stopped paying me. I was struggling for a bit but managed. I gave him two months then I filed for support through CSE in december 2012. that process took until just a few weeks ago. He refused to give me his address for anything. He barely calls the kids and when he does gets so upset that they dont want to talk to them. I will not force them to talk (they are 6 and 5). Well he finally got notice of what he will be paying for child support (I had him served at work after his step mother helped me there). He has been cussing me out non stop becuase now he cant afford his oldest who he just got custody of and he has a baby on the way. I may sound like a B but I dont care. for almost two years he didnt care about my children and I aksed him just for anything i mean 30 dollars a month would have done just to show he was making some type of attempt to support his children with me.

Now we are about to go through a custody issue. He is informing me that he will now get to see the kids. I told him he is more than welcome to see them anytime he wants but I dont want them to go out of state without me. I live on the east coast and he lives in the midwest. I dont know who he hangs with or even his family (everyone was getting remarried and i dont know where they live who lives with them who will all be around my children). He told me that the trips would be split 50/50. Just because I am getting support child support doesnt mean I can afford to send my kids to him. It is so hard for me to get time off (I am still in the military) and take them to him which i wont do.

He claims I am going against our parenting agreement but even in that it states that he has to pick the kids up and drop them off.

I have decided to file for sole custody. The kids barely know him becuase he calls so little and when i call him he never answers. I have my son's daycare teacher asking me if he is dead becuase that is what he keeps telling everyone so once a week I explain to him that he isnt dead.

I havent told him about the sole custody and i am not sure if i am going to as i have been honest with him about everything from day one but I am tired of getting cussed out and what not from him. He tore me down for almost 8 years and I am finally free. I just wants whats best for my kids.

Any advice on how I should actually handle this?
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July 19th, 2014, 02:09 PM
Spottts's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,476
I wouldn't communicate that you are petitioning for sole custody to your exH.

If you have an attorney, let the paperwork from him/her speak for itself. No need to give the other person warning. The attorney will advise you on the time sharing out of state. He/she would have to look at your specific agreement.

Good luck!

I gave my exH no warnings of what was to come during the divorce and did not feel bad in the slightest. He was used to bullying me to get his way and I was finished being walked all over.
Mom to 4 girls - age 11 (1/05), 9 year old twins (1/07), 21 months (7/14) and baby BOY is due May 26, 2016.

Sept. 2013 3/10/15
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