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Advice when dh is begging...

Forum: Divorce and Separation


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August 22nd, 2006, 10:34 PM
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Ok, now dh realizes I'm leaving and has started making all these promises. I don't want to be mean and hurtful, but right now I still don't feel like I can make this work. Of course he's trying to be perfect right now, but how long will it last? It's never lasted before, so I don't have confidence it will this time.

I'm trying to be strong and stick to my grounds saying I need to leave and figure out what to do. Ok, I'm pretty much just thinking out loud and looking for reassurance that I'm not being a total ****** by sticking to my decision saying I need to move out...
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August 22nd, 2006, 11:54 PM
Sugar+Spicex3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,010
No I don't think you're being a ******. Kudos to you for sticking your ground. My DH straightens up, so to speak, when I threaten to leave too... it never lasts for long either. Just long enough to pacify me until the next time I get sick and tired of him.

Have you asked him if he'll go to marriage counseling with you after you separate? If he knows you're really serious this time and you do move out, maybe thats the kick in the butt he needs to help save your marriage.
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August 23rd, 2006, 10:19 AM
carolinagirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 2,053
YOU have to do what is right for you! Only you can determine that. You're not being a ****** by sticking to your guns. You have every right to be selfish right now. You're making a stand and for whatever reason that intemidates men. My husband is being a total jackarse and bashing me to my own family.. I honestly think he thinks if they aleinated me that I would come crawling back to him.. HA! fat chance loser.. you had your chance!!

My point is.. be strong.. don't let him suck you back in with empty promises. If you're like me, you've been playing game for a while. It's time to #### or get off of the pot!! Keep your chin up and I am here if you need to vent. I think together we can keep each other sane and from making a mistake by going back to them!

Tracey (34)

GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference ~ Amen.

My Myspace & Yahoo 360*
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August 24th, 2006, 07:53 AM
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I think you should stick with what is in your heart regardless of what the other person is promising. If you continue with a relationship simply to please the other partner, you will eventually make each other miserable.
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August 24th, 2006, 08:36 AM
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You ladies are amazing and really do understand. I can tell he's acting now exactly how he thinks I want him to act and that drives me nuts because it's fake. He'll say something, and I won't look at him, but out of the corner of my eye I can see him looking at me waiting for my reaction. It reminds me of a child when you tell them not to do something and they keep trying just to see what you'll do.

He's dragging his feet now and I think I need to start pushing, which I hate the idea of doing.

Ahh, where would I be without the Jm'ers of the world?
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August 24th, 2006, 12:49 PM
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I agree with everyone else, stand your ground. It doesn't mean you can't get back together in the future and be happy, but for right now you know this is right. I know how hard it is.
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