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A BFing question....

Forum: Breastfeeding


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April 15th, 2008, 10:19 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Hi ladies, I've been lurking here tonight. I have a question. I'm not pregnant, and I'm not TTC. However, I do know when I do happen to get that little one, I want to breast feed. I figure someone gave me big boobs, I may as well put them to use. lol

Now, a question. In general, I do not like having my nipples touched. I'm not keen on anyone going at them for more than a short period of time. This concerns me, because BFing is sort of like a full time job, and I'm concerned that I'm going to find it very uncomfortable.

Is there anyone else out there who was the same way before they had children? How did the experience go for you?

I understand that it's the milk that's important, not how it's fed to the child, but for at least the fist 6 months I want to do it the way it was intended, from me to baby (pumping to put up a stock so when i have slept in 12 hours I can say "No honey, it's your turn), and follow up after that with a bottle, but still strictly breast milk. The thought of breast feeding a child with teeth can literally give me nightmares. My mother had some bad experiences with a biter, and I figure one bite and baby's being migrated to a bottle (because of the sensitivity of my nipples, I'm sure I could not handle being bitten more than once).

I'm asking all of this now, just of curiosity.
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April 16th, 2008, 08:27 AM
Platinum Supermommy
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It just kind of works itself out. It seems like it would be difficult now, but once your baby is here, you likely won't think twice about it.
Biting is the same thing, it works itself out. Many babies don't bite. Some take a small nip just to test the waters, and never do it again. If you would have asked me when DD was a week old, when I wanted to wean, I would say it's when she got teeth. She now has...18 or 20, something like that, and I'm still nursing. It didn't really phase me, yes it hurt, but if the child does it on purpose, it's something you can correct by letting them know it's not okay.
I wouldn't let these concerns sway you from breastfeeding. Definitely give it a try, because you won't know what it's like until the time comes.
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April 16th, 2008, 09:23 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think the nipple thing will be something that you will have to personally decide on. Yes, my nipples are even more sensative now that I am nursing, but it's mostly when something brushes against them, and when she is NOT nursing. While she is nursing I don't notice any irritation, though I'm sure some women do. I would say if you have a TON of pain or irritation while nursing then you should probably have an LC come and check out latch and everything. I wouldn't say that you can compare nursing to your DH playing with your nipples or anything. To me it is very different, though DH wouldn't dare touch my breasts at all right now he calls them my feed bags

I would say wait and see. Try it out, give it AT LEAST 3 months to try to get over the hard times. Stick it out, and yes it may feel like a full time job, but if after 3 months when all the tough times are done if you still can't take it then at least you gave your baby a good start to life

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April 16th, 2008, 03:00 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Thanks ladies.

I do want to try and do it for a full 6 months from me to baby, and then pumping after that. I do want to avoid formula if at all possible, tho I personally don't see the huge disadvantage of it at this point.

Even my boyfriend has asked me "how are you going to breast feed if I can't even touch you with out getting slapped?" lol.. he asked it to me again this morning. I know my aunt and I are the same way, and she couldn't stand the feel of her daughter on her breast. However, I see BFing as important, so even if I became uncomfortable with doing it right form the breast, I'd just pump. It doesn't matter how the milk gets to the baby as long as it comes from me right?
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April 16th, 2008, 03:04 PM
CandiceN's Avatar Sam & Alex's mommy!
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It's a different kind of feeling than you get from your man touching you. I have the same "nipple issue" with not liking to be touched for too long; but I was able to BF my son for over a year. I think you just get used to it

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April 16th, 2008, 03:59 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ditto the other ladies.

Also - just to throw this out there. After being involved with LLL for a while, and having several friends who are involved with BFing as LC's, LCounselors, etc... typically that kind of adverse reaction with the nipples is due to some sort of past trauma. I'm not saying this IS the case with you - but its a likely cause with MOST women. I dont want to put the spotlight on you but rather just suggest that rather than avoiding BFing beyond 6 months (honestly, if you make it to 6 months, theres really no point in stopping then), I would encourage exploring the cause of the root of it all. Kind of like - its smarter to find out WHATs causing a recurring cold than to just keep taking dimetapp or avoiding the tissue box.

Its worth the effort. There may be something that is contributing to it that isnt a likely culprit. Usually its past sexual trauma, but it also can be other things, usually trauma or abuse related though.

With that said - a large part of breastfeeding isnt the physical act for the mother - the mother who is confident is by nature more likely to succeed without problems. The woman who has doubts about it working, questions her ability (mentally or physically) is more likely to encounter problems. My neighbor & friend is a LC and very recently was dealing with a case where a woman was experiencing extreme pain - the problem is usually first assumed to be latch -but it occurred at first latch, with a perfect latch, and no other issues. As it turns out - the woman had hesitations b/c she doesnt like her breasts being touched under normal circumstances - all stemming from past physical abuse. Now - I'm not saying the pain is all in her head, I'm believe the pain is real and really there, and not just to her. But I believe the pain reaction (and experts agree) stems directly (or at least in large part) from her past experiences.

She is currently working through that with a professional, and experiencing improvement. Its been a very emotional thing for her, though.

So I just wanted to put that out there.

Lastly, I wanted to address - its not simply about just getting the milk - the production of antibodies & nutrients is tailored as a direct result of the skin to skin latch & contact. A mother who exclusively pumps is not having the same physical things going on in her body when her body produces milk as the mother whose baby latches on directly. Her body will still produce antibodies & nutrients, but it wll be far more generic & not tailored to her baby. HEr baby will not receive the SAME benefits, though her baby WILL RECEIVE many benefits - does that make sense? There is a method to the madness

Also - there are many physical and biological things that go on while nursing - and if you plan to nurse during the first 6 months, that is certainly the MOST crucial time - however studies show that immunity boosting antibodies also increase after 1 yr of age, and continue into toddlerhood- making it very beneficial. But - i'll save that for later lol.

The bottom line - even beyond 6 months - latch is very important. ANd it is also very tasking to pump - if you make it to 6 months, you may feel differently about it all. Give it a chance


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April 16th, 2008, 05:53 PM
$pryNinja's Avatar Zef Fre$ Mom
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its a completely different feeling, I wouldn't worry.. it feels totally natural

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April 16th, 2008, 09:21 PM
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I applaud your determination to breastfeed despite your worries about being touched. Just remember, it can be rough in the beginning until you and baby adjust and learn how it's done, lol, so give it a good 6 weeks at least. Good luck!!!
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