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loss of a spouse

Forum: Grief and Loss


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December 4th, 2008, 02:21 PM
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 18
not sure where this Fits.....i met my boy friend(tim) after leaving school, after falling in love and dating for 6months i accidently fell pregnant ,well i had to pluck up the courage to tell my mum .. she was very supportive even know i knew it wasnt the right time in my life (only 17),anyway we decide to go ahead with it .My beautiful girl Tayliea jay was born 29 jan 2000 six months later Tim began to feel not right we went to doctor after doctor with no answers the one doctor found he had to many white blood cells the dignosis was Hodgkins lymphoma a type of lukimea(cancer) we were horrified but came to grips and worked as hard as we could to get him wellhe had intensive chemotherpy., it was so hard with a neither of us working the$ just wasnt comming in but we got by, six months down the track he went into remission we WON.. well we went on with our lives as norm. we tried for another baby the docs said it would be unlikley because of the radiation he sustained, but to our enjoyment i fell pregnant we had a baby boy Kane anthony 25 jan 2004... we moved to the beach and life was bliss .....Untill Tim started to get get sick again .. the docts told us the cancer had grown back ..this time he would have to have a bown marrow transplant..everything went down hill from there he was so ill in isolation in the cancer ward the children couldnt even vist.it was so hard to leave him there each day.... we lived each day at a time ... then he sort of made a recovery well enough to come home ... he was home for a week and developed a cough we went back to hospital and they said his lungs were filling with fluids so it was back to the hospital to have a drain put in ...By this time it was christmas again.we celebrated xmas on a down low a few days went on Tims best friend from school had come for new year to stay a day or two ..i noticed Tim had not been eating and hassiled him .... that night he woke up in bed stuggling to breath so i called the ambulance they rushed him to the local hospital i went to throw on some clothes and tell Tims friend to watch the kids , and the phone rang it was the hospital they said Tim stoped breathing and ressusatated him i rushed of in the car by the time i got ther he had passed on ...I COULD NOT BELEIVE IT..... i was devostated HOW do you explain that to a 1 1/2 yr old and a 4yr old about their Daddy it was so HARD and still is
Make a pregnancy ticker`Tayliea & Kanes mum
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January 4th, 2009, 03:07 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Oh sweetie I am so sorry. I don't often come into this board, but I wanted to take a moment & tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I don't know how you do tell children their daddy won't be coming home. It had to be so incredibly difficult I can hardly imagine. I am truly sorry for your loss. I hope that reaching out & sharing your story helps to bring you some peace. Much love.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

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