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How have your losses changed you?

Forum: Grief and Loss


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August 24th, 2009, 08:21 AM
Misty_X's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 25,063
Do you feel you are a different person now because of the grief anf loss you have experienced?

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August 27th, 2009, 09:19 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
Definitely. It's really hard to rattle me since losing my son. I also have lost the ability to stick a cork in it and be nice. If I think you are an idiot, I'll usually tell you. I just don't have patience for people who get worked up over nonsense.

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September 5th, 2009, 08:07 PM
Posts: n/a
I agree with Rebecca. I'm much more upfront than I used to be and find myself having a harder time dealing with stressful situations. I almost feel bitter when I listen to people complain about trivial things. I'm not happy I'm this way, but it is what it is!
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September 5th, 2009, 08:45 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
Absolutely. I have lost all innocence regarding life. I am now painfully aware that terrible things will, in fact, happen to me. I have lost the ability to be fun-loving and worry free. I never have an easy mind anymore. I am like a darker alternate reality version of the old me, if that makes any sense. I can't say that I am less tolerant of stupidity because I was never very tolerant of it to begin with. If anything, I would say that I am less interested in people in general. Social gatherings are difficult for me now because I don't relate the way I once did. I am not sure if I will always be this way, but this is my reality for the last 14 months.

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May 31st, 2010, 05:20 PM
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 6
Absolutely. I recently lost my little boy.I feel very changed. No one will ever replace my little Paul. I have decided though to have more children than I initially planned. I pray every day that we never have to lose another child. I have a hard time seeing people with their babies now. I feel that my little boy should be here with us, too. He was and is still so loved and wanted. Why did he have to be in such a small percentage group of kids that have an irreversible disorder. It is so unfair, because I did everything right to have a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby.No one should have to deal with this.


Last edited by PAULJRsMOMMY; May 31st, 2010 at 05:26 PM. Reason: spelling
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June 18th, 2010, 09:08 PM
Libby22's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Palmerston north, New Zealand
Posts: 9,174
I lost my angel in march. I see how life is so short now, I find it still hard sometimes still
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June 27th, 2010, 02:56 PM
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2
I lost my baby girl in May 2010. I had preeclampsia and small placenta. She was stillborn. Everyday I just want to stay in bed but I have to get up and take care of my 4 yr old son. My husband is deployed in Afghan. and I can't wait for him to come home.
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October 4th, 2010, 02:39 PM
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 27
Very much so. With every mc I have I feel like a part of me has died. I love kids and work with kids but I can no longer see a baby, child or expecting mom and not want to cry. I no longer sit by and put up with stupidity. I have always wanted a huge family but now after our 3rd mc I am starting to think about not having children. I think in a strange small way it has also made me stronger since nothing seems to shake me.
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October 4th, 2010, 05:50 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,740
My son died 18 months ago and I still feel like I am going to wake up and see his face playing with the other kids. I am not able to tolerate people and their stupid petty problems the way I was before. I have less sympathy for minor issues. I also feel more protective of my other kids. I just can't face waking up to another dead child again.
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October 4th, 2010, 07:34 PM
birdblue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,146
Everyone here is talking about the loss of their child so perhaps i shouldn't post here, as i haven't experienced this loss. I did however lose my father when i was 8 due to an accident at work, he was 30. I can very much relate to Laurie, i am constantly aware of the worst case situation. Growing up i was always afraid i would find my mother dead. If someone is late i'm worried they have gotten into a car accident or some other accident. I get annoyed with how little people appreciate others knowing how quickly they could be gone. I don't know who exactly i would have been if he was still here, but i know i would have been much different.

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